------I finally can forget you. I cared for you a lot back then, but I realized that I never made time for you. You wanted to go out and do things, explore this world together. I always pushed it off for later and told you: "maybe next time". I'm such a fool whenever I think about it. I always pushed you off the side while I drowned myself in my work. I watched you slipped away from me, wondering why this is happening.
------He was just a friend at first, I trusted you then. I had doubts, low-key hidden insecurities. I hid them from you because I wanted to trust you. I asked you if we were okay. You always just smiled at me. I'd get irritated at you for not answering the question. But you'd joke and teased me. Your smile tells me that that we're fine but, that fear was still there inside. It all in slow motion in my memory. I held your hand, our fingers interleaved. Then slowly each finger starts to unravel. I never noticed. You smile at me one last time and you let go. I, a stone statue looking at the horizon, watched you walk away.
------I only noticed far after. I guess that's the saying that you don't know what you have until its gone. Your gaudy pictures with him splattered all over my feed. You finally got to explore the world like you wanted. I was mad at you for a while of course, but you never knew. I wrote pieces of music and art for you but I hated them for containing so much pain. For a while I couldn't make anything without the you creeping into my works. But you know me, always self reflecting. I was happy for you. Your smile in those pictures were genuine. Its been a year now, hopefully by writing this down I can finally forget. I can finally let it rest. I am finally seeing, why I was the one worth leaving.
This is Anikacy, don't take for granted of what you have.
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I've been writing in this since I was thirteen in 2007. I still am writing in it, and it will probably be my legacy till the day I die. (Don't start reading from the beginning as my writing was atrocious then.)