Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Feel like I might be overdoing it on the work...


I've been starting to feel like the more I work on things to keep from feeling lonely
the more I realize that without it, I don't feel like I'm worth much.


There's not much substance to me as a person.
I'm not the funny girl
I'm not the smart one...

I'm just a girl who tries to talk to people
or I just try to entertain people to get them to talk.

but when all else fails, it just puts me in a deep funk


I can throw gifts out at people, give them a quick smile or two
but I'd rather not them know who gave it to them
I'd rather not turn into a gift bank.


... It's just kind of funny how I always end up at this corner.

I talk to one friend for a while, try to learn stuff about them
then as soon as they have to return to their own life
things just start to feel cold.
so I kind of dance, or turn some tunes on to daydream
and hopefully not think about it.

...

My life without friends, would be forfeit
seeing as it was a friend who saved me from the streets.