I know that, if I want my life to get better, I should do something about it.

But I get embarrassed easy. I have a hard time talking to people. I hate my voice and had I spent most of my youth with selective mutism. I still have a lot of repressed anger without an outlet. I do get angry. I shout, and I don't like that about myself. I should just stay silent. Sometimes I think I'm not depressed and just very lazy. But I'm tired all the time. So very tired. I might be afraid of success. I know how cruel the world can be to people who put themselves out there. Why try?


Still... I'll get out of bed every morning.