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[F][c][k] it all by a lot just cuz for random's sake!!!
Hubby told me ex B.C misses me. Laughs. LIES!!!
Before I woke up, I had dreamed my ex boyfriend, Brendan, missing me.

In the dream my husband whispered in my ear while he slowly plunged mutual physical vibration into my devilish apple pit. Before that, I do remember ex bf looking for me.

I did saw his face before a creative scene of hubby and I appeared. I don’t care for him in my dreams just as much as in my waking life. My ex for me will always be partially responsible for why my son is deceased. So that boy can absolutely fok off.

I looked up in dream dictionary as usual and it said that I either am having wishful thoughts or I gotten over him completely. I laughed so hard and almost woke up my husband who in real life still snoozing. It was to funny because I keep having this re occurring dream through out the years.

I absolutely will always remember that lil boy but is the dream necessary? I'm like "Yeah I know of him so why does it need be in my brains resurfacing it act". Even dreamed of him homeless sleeping on the streets in tears last year. I felt bad for him because I didn't let him leach on me anymore. He always claiming my hard work of paying rent when he didn't have money or a job. Searched facebook for him but he still done want to be found by me or others. *shrugs* his problem. I don't care. So I stopped searching. But eventually while looking for him at that time I found out a common friend passed away Dec 2018 - Jan 2019. I was devastated. RIP HOME GIRL! <333

Still, that boy could be dead or alive now and I still wish the stupid kid the best and also to leave me the fok a lone. Because that’s all that is necessary. It baffles me that in the past I see wishful dreams of me wanting him even though nights before would be me acting careless of him.

Ignorant face to see for me because it's me. I dreamed of him two weeks straight once and thought he during that time might of officially realized that I have no interest of him at all. A friend of ours that are in a screamo metal band told him I left that Dallas city life and moved to SA to be with a long time friend.

Decided to try things finally with my current husband. I told my husband about it that I swear to god it wasn’t me thinking of him but it has to be my ex bf thinking of me in madness. Not because that I moved on but because of the stories my ex and I had together and the way it ended with bs on both parties. I thought my ex kept thinking of everything that was wrong with our old relationship and maybe it surfaced in his self searched memories. I felt all the electrical sorriness in my mind. I knew it wasn’t me thinking about him because I wasn’t in a sorry a** mood. Lol shrugs. I learned to part the differences of others impression thoughts and my own thoughts. I'm very protective of my thoughts when I'm around negative energy making sure no one sends me unwanted extra energy I don't have time for.

I kept having flash backs of meeting my ex in Hawaii before meeting up again in Washington Seattle and last place in Dallas before just cutting the rope to the toxic bs. He can toxic someone else's life for all I give a flying fok of. All of those thoughts popped up those two weeks of misery.

The main factor is, the dream dictionary answers for my dream today is “I completely over him” in many other dreams” but “Why does it keep re occurring many years later still?”. Very unnecessary.

All I want is him grow some balls, taking care of himself, and if he with someone, he need to treat them like a precious King/Queen than to suffer another bs relationship. Other than that, fok off. Lmao


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