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Kylia throws a shot of vodka into her coffee, taking a large gulp.
“Age: Approximately 7-8 years. Officially, Unknown, but believed to have been originally created as a failed clone of Mew.
Chimdi is…he WAS the perfect shiny ditto. Not caught by me, caught by someone else. Donated to me to use for breeding projects. Used the hell out of him. Found out some things. Shinies all have um. They have different special things. This one, in addition to having superior genetics, originally was able to copy two things at once. Someone up stairs was all goo goo over that. Said we should turn it into a tentacle monster. So, against better judgement, we did.”

The thing waves its sign and smooshes its Ditto face against the camera, licking it slowly. She traces the ditto face on the screen with a marker, partly forgetting the fact that she’d have to clean it off, while also not caring within the moment.

“That. That is its one defect. Which, I think is good. Otherwise it’d have just cloned someone’s eyeballs and easily gotten out. Continuing though, the next thing that happened.. we wanted him to copy a manticore. Mythical beast and all that. Didn’t quite work, but, that’s for the better. Like all Ditto, he-sorry, IT- isn’t able to copy things from memory. Except, with the way we modified him, all he needs is a p***k with any one tentacle. We lost count of how many tentacles it has, because it can hide them, but it’s postulated that for each one, it could sprout an extra head or appendage. Each different limb you see, used to be a tentacle. Regardless of whether you see all of them, or what you think you see, DON’T EVER OPEN THE ENCLOSEMENT! NEVER EVER! Congratulations, Chimdi is definitely the ultimate monster…hypothetically. Due to the unstable nature of it, he hasn’t actually been tested in combat. Arceus help us all, should it ever come to that.

Like I said, It absorbs and ‘remembers’ DNA with its tentacles, essentially allowing for near limitless combinations. Someone thought it would be funny to toss the Lion Chimdi a magikarp. See if he just turns into that or gets collectively weaker. Instead, of friggin’ course the damn thing grows a Gyrados tail. That was the first time he busted out of his- ITS- cage. The artificial enclosure has since been reinforced multiple times. The four arms? They’re from the time we had Machoke trying to fix the ******** cage, again. It decided it doesn’t like Machamp arms, but that’s also why it has four arms. Personally, I don’t comprehend that. In any case, only Pi goes in there now. Can’t take DNA from a robot, and as a sibling, she helped erm..fix, a lot of things. Both as a ‘lab assistant’ and as its ‘sister’ even though technically she doesn’t have a gender either. Her personality matrix identifies as a female, and her “siblings” agree. Ugh. The hell is wrong with my life? I was supposed to be…nevermind.“
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