i'm beginning to think my hoodie will never arrive. fed ex takes their time. grr. "free shipping" has taken.... 10 days so far. maybe amazon's fast shipping has spoiled me? lol. tho i ordered from this company last december and still had faster shipping then.


been reading and listening to stuff about psychopaths recently. it's interesting.
not like the murderous ones that are popular in TV shows.
the people who pretend to care but are really heartless, unfeeling bodies.
the type of people who only ever do something to get something out of it.
(adam smith... was he some covert narcissist?!?! lol. his economic theory is basically that people do stuff in self-interest and that's okay and the market will run and be balanced on that. hmm. i digress. i don't want to talk about economics)

more like i'm weighing people's behaviors. and mine.
i don't want to come off as heartless.
but lately i've had less energy and don't want to do stuff, so i wonder if people think of me as cold or standoffish.
but i can't be everything to everyone all the time.

i guess this is the part of my life where i find balance.
and find what makes me happy.
a reason to get out of bed.

i need to find that.

because taking care of my mother is not it.