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The Life and Mind of DamnBlackHeart
This is to help me stay actively writing. So expect to see rants, tips on writing, thoughts on subjects, me complaining of boredom, reviews, anime, movies, video games, conventions, tv shows and whatever life throws at me.
I Did My Own Tarot Reading
I found my sister’s tarot deck that she left behind when she moved out. Unfortunately, the little guide book that was suppose to be be with it is long gone. So I had to do a bit of research in order to figure out how to use this.

This deck is called The Prediction Tarot Deck, which was conceived by Bernard Stringer and painted by Peter Richardson (1985). This deck was printed in Belgium by Carta Mund, but is now out of print. It is consider to be a collector item.

This particular deck was used as an example in several books by Sasha Fenton. She has been studying and practicing psychic arts for over thirty years and in the past she was the President of the British Astrological and Psychic Society. She is also a popular radio, TV, and magazine personality in the UK and has written many books on astrology, fortune telling, and tarot.

I did a bit of reading (as much as the free preview/peek inside allows) from Sasha Fenton’s Fortune Telling by Tarot Cards: A Beginner’s Guide to Understanding the Future Using Tarot Cards and I looked up a few things too about it. Just keep in mind that I am a novice at this. I’m going to do my best, but don’t freak out if I’m doing the tarot reading wrong or something.


To start off I decided to do a general three-card spread because Fenton says a small spread is “most useful for answering a specific question.”

Past / Present / Future
The nature of your problem / The cause / The solution
Current situation / Obstacle / Advice
Situation / Action / Outcome
Context of the situation / Where you need to focus / Outcome
What I think about the situation / What I feel / What I do

The question I asked was “Will there be another cat like Fluffy in my life?”

It has been two months since I’ve lost her. I promised myself no more cats after her, because I will not be handle such a loss again. But now that it doesn’t hurt as much I’ve been wondering what if in the distant future my feelings on this matter changes? Or that I’ll meet another cat and make a connection with them as I did with Fluffy? Or maybe I don’t and there won’t be anymore new cats in my life? I don’t know, but I made sure to thoroughly shuffle the cards before I started and this is what I got…

The first card in the three-card spread is the Five of Swords.

The Five of Swords card indicated that you were in a conflict of some nature; both external and internal. Something in which that there was no apparent victor. That you walked away with a sense of sadness and loss from it. Possibly feeling resentful too. And that you were on the road to isolating yourself. Perhaps, at the time, you believed that it was more important to be right rather than appreciate and understand where the other side was coming from.

This does seem to fit me because in the beginning, the days leading up to Fluffy’s death was absolutely heartbreaking. When it happened I just shut down and didn’t want to talk about it or hear anyone’s condolences. I was also a bit – no, actually I was absolutely angry that the situation got to such a point. I felt that it could have been handle better, especially that it could’ve been prevented in the first place. I was angry at (and blamed) myself and two others, but kept such thoughts to myself though. Those feelings and thoughts did lingered for a while but I did let go and finally grieve.

The second card in the three-card spread is The Wheel of Fortune.

The Wheel of Fortune card indicates that the wheel is always turning and life is in a state of constant change. Change, whether it’s good or bad is part of the cyclical nature of life. You’re currently going through a difficult time. That even though it’s outside of your control, it’s all going to be okay. It’s a natural process and you just need to roll with it because it will get better from here. Thinking positively will help a lot. And eventually good luck, as well as good fortune will make their return in time.

This does match with how I am currently. I’m more at peace and feel like I can finally breath without choking up in negative thoughts and emotions. That’s because I’ve stopped dwelling on the loss and focused more on the here and now. Time doesn’t stop, it keeps going and because of it it has gotten easier to think about the happy memories and positive emotions. Fluffy may not be in my life anymore, but I’m grateful for the time I did have with her. All I can do is just hope that she’s okay wherever she is and that we’ll meet again. In the meantime, I’m keeping an eye out for the stray cats in my backyard. I have plenty of cat food to give to them and cat toys to put to good use.

The third and final card in the three-card spread is The Tower.

The Tower card is not about choice; it’s about having something happen to you, foisted upon you, or taken away from you. It is about an unexpected change in the most radical and momentous sense. It is for this reason that the card itself visually looks so unnerving. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be truly frightening or ominous. Because at the heart of this card, its message is foundational, a groundbreaking change. Its revelations can come in a flash of truth or inspiration. You will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient from it. You will also develop a new perspective on life that you didn’t consider or haven’t put much thought onto. And that the future isn’t years or months away as you originally thought. It could actually be days, even hours away.

Interesting. So when I consider my question, “Will there be another cat like Fluffy in my life?” I think this is saying that it’s possible? That it might even be sooner than I thought. That maybe it will happen when I least expect it too? That if I look back at it when if does happen, I will realize that all the signs were there all along. It sounds like I might get attach to another stray cat or kitten. Probably even if I’m reluctant about it too. I don’t know for sure.

Obviously, I’m not ready for another cat right now. But that could change in the future, where I’ll might be more opened to it. Or it will just happen and I have no choice but to accept it and be like…okay.


Funny enough, that is actually what happened with Fluffy. Fluffy started off as a very hungry and floofy feral kitten that was always following her mother. Winter was particular harsh that year and we all knew she wouldn’t survive the rest of it. After all, she was the only one in her litter to have gotten that far. So my mother and I decide to take her in, but only until spring.

However, we never follow through with that plan and ended up keeping her. She was just so sweet and adorable. We never stood a chance, really. I don’t know why we even bothered fooling ourselves into thinking we could’ve let her go.

Anyway, this is the end of my first (and most likely the only) tarot card reading. I probably did this all wrong, but that’s not surprising since I’m still new to all this. Most of the information I’ve learned and read were from the book and several websites on the subject. I’ve notice that interpretations of the tarot cards can vary depending on the tarot reader and several other factors too. Such as the cards placement on the spread (be it a three-card spread or if it’s facing upwards or not), the illustration on the card, the purpose of doing the tarot reading (like asking a question about something or looking for advice, etc.).

Just for fun (and unrelated to my earlier question) I wanted to see what card was resting at the top of the deck. I wanted to see what the deck would show me. It was The Hermit and my first thought when I saw it was “wow, that so is me.”

The Hermit is always alone. This card indicates solitude. The reasons for this solitude may be good or bad, productive or not and the isolation may be caused by outside forces or one’s own choices.

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