you feel it again
the warm betrayal etching lines down your cheeks.
you watch it fall to your lap
evident dents now engrained into the fabric
that clings to your thighs.
if life is a cycle of up and downs
you want off the ride.
if you must stop breathing at the highs
and find yourself crumpled at the lows
why is it worth it?
your only use is a painting to hang
to admire and appreciate but easily rid of.
if you fall off the wall no one will pick you up.
no one even has the grace to throw you out
they just let you rot
into the carpet.
sometimes you wonder if certain things
aren't meant for you.
it's an idle thought at most
a ridiculous notion you used to scribble
when you were sad as a child.
but now you're an adult
you're older and sadder
and suddenly the thoughts are creeping up behind you.
all you can think about are the abrupt ends
to the endless forevers.
the only thing in your mind
is all the hurt that comes from being too high.
nothing else matters in these moments
it's just a cycle.
it's just like a passing moon in phases.
and all you can do it wait them out
wait until see one of them ends you
or if you'll crawl back bruised and confused.