peach texted me two days ago around 1am saying that she got off of work at 2 and wanted to call me if i was awake
the one ******** day i actually go to bed before 4am

yesterday on the way back from picking up r from school she called me

she says she's trying to have a baby
they're trying

she was a little scared to talk to me bc i didn't approve but she knew i was the only person that would be non-judgmental and kind about it

and yes, it is a dumb idea
having a kid at 23 with no career, no title, and a VERY emotionally unstable boy is not a good idea
but honestly? she's one class away from her degree, and she has been holding a steady-ish job while in orlando

she is fully aware that the boy might bounce at any moment and she doesn't care because what she wants, ultimately, is a baby and i can respect that at least

when i see my cousin and what she's going through- a girl that chose school and travel and her career over a family, sure she's stable
but she isn't happy
all she wants is a baby and time is running out for her at 27 and with pcos

i think growing up we try and think up all of these amazing things to do, some things even unattainable or conflicting

peach never really had a big dream career, just traveling- possibly teaching foreign children english in other places
her dream was being a mom and she can very well be one


i've seen people less intelligent than her get pregnant at 20 and survive and live well and happy

people concern themselves with "making it" and "being ahead" when at the end of the day when you're overworked and underpaid sometimes the only thing that can make you feel better is someone else

i think ss places too much importance on his life long career goal
i understand why- it's been something he's been working towards for a decade
but because he hasn't achieved it, and may very well never, he makes himself absolutely miserable sometimes despite all the amazing things he has in life

f*ck even i have depression and panic disorder with agoraphobia and i take life less seriously than him
he's terrified of doing "average" and of living an "average" life

growing up and watching my parents struggle to survive "average" seemed just fine with me

i suppose that's why out perspectives are so dissimilar
i hope i can continue to show him all the brighter sides of things

only downside is that i guess this boy will be sticking around for a while ;; so much for being a throuple ; x ; after i convinced s and everything lol