My simple life, explained in the most complicated way possible. I warn you of who I used to be. Perhaps even of who I am.
I'm sorry it was like this. I'm sorry I turned out this way. I'm sorry that opposites attract, and while I pulled you in, I pushed everything else away. I'm sorry I became the monster you never wanted of me. I'm sorry I proved them all right. I'm sorry I wasn't enough and that I can't be there now.
What hurts more that rejection, is absence.
it would not hurt me to know you were with someone else, if you were happy. I would not hurt to know that you wanted to be by yourself, if you were happy. I don't care what you did. What hurt, what I cannot forget:
You were willing to ask me to give two years of my life to you, but you could not last two days.
You told me you were willing to try. You said so many things. I have given so many second chances... But I can't trust you. That's what hurts. What hurts is that your words no longer have meaning, or value. What hurts
Is feeling as if the last two years of our lives, was a complete waste of my time.
You scolded me, hated me for staying with her, saying I would do the same to you. I told you I wouldn't. You said you could not forgive if I had talked to anyone else, so many times you pulled my phone from me. But I can see now, you were projecting not your fears, but your needs. You stayed with me because you feared being alone.
And I can't help but feel as if you never loved me.
If you do. If you did. I can't tell you to say it. I had no meaning to me. Show me. Prove to me you do. As a friend, or as a lover. Show me how you care.
Because I will never go through this pain again. And If I have to let you go, so I can be free, then I will.