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Thoughts from the bird of one thousand faces.
This is honestly just my journal.... I'm putting thoughts, rants, and random shite here.... what did you expect?
Its been one full year
Its been one full year since my Grandfather passed away at 88 years of age.
Today I went to his grave for the very first time since the funeral.
I was suppose to have a few people go with me because I had a rough idea on how it would affect me.
Everyone who was suppose to go with me either got busy, forgot or straight up bailed on me.
I ended up going alone.

Going alone was the most painful thing in the world. I felt alone and abandoned, hell i still feel like that even after i've been home an hour.
I feel like in the moments that im going through some of the most painful and yet most important moments in my life that I have no one to comfort me through it.

When i got to the cemetary the grave marker was missing.
I cried to the point i threw up and on my walk home i fell about six times cause my stupid bad leg kept giving out.
It wasn't nice at all.
I haven't slept in like... threeee?? days?
I dont feel well.
Today was hell and gods I feel so... so alone right now.

I miss my Grandfather with every passing day.
Every day is a struggle to remind myself that Grandpa would want me to keep living.
I don't know how to handle my emotions..

I need like.. A hug.. Cake or a bullet to the face jfc,
I need a catholic priest to let me talk about this to so I can be forgiven by a god i dont believe in

Lucifer Knightroad
Community Member
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