I work retail. It's a summer job, and the pay doesn't suck, and because the staff is about 95% women, it's a decent work environment. (The remaining 5% are one of the security guys, one of the chefs, the new manager who's almost certainly gay with the great hair, and my coworker that I recently learned prefers they/them pronouns.)

It's a decent job, tbh. Okay, I come out and don't want to stand for the rest of the day because ow my feet and knees... but really, it's a pretty cool place to work. They gave me a doll last christmas -- the one with the long blonde hair and pretty clothes that all the little girls wanted. She looks like the b*****d offspring of two of the dolls I had growing up, which is quite funny.

Today though. Today I was part of the storewide effort to launch a new suite of products for the summer.


I have not previously had the opportunity to learn the back of the store so well. I now know where to find spare shelves, spare hooks, the little pegs that hold the shelves up, most of the dolls, most of the doll shoes, about half the books, the doll volcano science fair kits, and 90 doll pyjama sets. It would've been 96, but somebody miscalculated how many pyjamas would fit on one of the shelves. By a fortuitous coincidence (or a case of my innate and sometimes spooky ability to somehow perfectly solve a spatial reasoning problem?) I decided I would only bring out 42 boxes instead of the 48 requested. 42 turned out to be the exact number needed. Go figure.


Other things I learned today:

1. The black tape we use to hold up most display components is literally evil. It responds to a scraper... sort of. Not really, and not well, but it will sort of succumb to brute force. Ish. Unfortunately, after spending about twenty-five minutes trying to get ALL the black tape off one display and failing, management decided I was the black tape removal expert. Thanks guys. Thanks.

2. The plexiglass displays are kept immobile by a perfect fit and foam board spacers.

3. The plexiglass display shelves are ten pegs down from the top of the display case. This is because the peg holes don't go all the way up.

4. We do not have any more doll-sized-locker sets in the back.

5. Nor do we have any more basic accessory sets.

6. Ditto for those blue frilly dress thingies.

7. We're getting more on Tuesday.

8. We're also getting the GORGEOUS black sparkly rhinestone dress on Tuesday. But we do have about fifty of the accessory sets for the dress, which include a vaguely stupid doll sized handbag. I think it's supposed to look like Saturn. It doesn't. It looks sort of stupid, and as a former Space Camp enthusiast, I would've been embarrassed to carry one. I might've worn the black rhinestone tunic/leggings, though.

9. We're also out of most of the books aimed at six year olds, though.

10. Not the one about robins' secrets, though. Or the one about mud puddles. We have a ton of those.

11. We ALSO have a ton of those coral lace sneaker thingies.

12. The new extra pale doll we've gotten in still has a better tan than I do. Mattel, the makers of Malibu barbie (a doll so tan she's on par with Donald for the county fair medal for "best sweet potato" wink literally cannot conceive a human being as pale as me.

13. Or most of my coworkers, for that matter.

14. I don't know if little boys will actually spring for anything in a store with as much pink carpet as we have, but that hasn't stopped Mattel from valiantly trying. The dark blue gaming chair and doll sized video game console are pretty sweet. So are the foosball/air hockey tables, for that matter.

15. It's possible to make fake miniature cotton candy almost irresistably cuddly.

16. Our bathrooms are actually pretty nice. Like. They don't smell of despair like many mall bathrooms. They're also pink. Oh, and have doll holders in the bathroom stalls. That's a little bit weird.