initially it was a safe spot a way to
tighten your world around you so no one could get in.
' (you never thought it'd end this way.)
somewhere deep inside you was this fear this relentless screaming
yelling that it was better this way it was better if you just left yourself
out of the real world out of harm's way
underneath your blankets and inside your mind you built a wall when in
reality you built a prison.
failure was always an option but never one you particularly liked so
as a precaution to save yourself you burned down all the bridges
underneath yourself and were somehow surprised when no one came
looming down to save you no one came
to your side.
years past and now you've grown now you want to
overload yourself with all the things you missed when you were broken
understand what is to laugh with people and be around that warmth.
' (life has a funny way of telling you to go ******** yourself.)
reeling back you realise what it is you've done what pain your
escape has cause you.
at night the only thing you do is count the threads of your sheets and
lull yourself to sleep with the promise of a better tomorrow another
leisurely stroll that you insist won't end in being
alone again something that will let you grasp what everyone else has
loving someone and being surrounded by people surrounded by
overtly happy people who value you and touch you and smile and
never leaving but in reality all you've done is condemned yourself to an
eternity of chasing shadows.
. (it's all your fault. all your fault.)