I am currently using gaiaonline, on my ipad, at the soup kitchen. I found some time to express some troubling thoughts. I feel myself getting angrier. I am trying my best to keep it away from people I love, but I feel need to teeter between speaking up and keeping my mouth shut. Hence why I am document my emotions here, giving friends the option to read this, or not. However, I may not always be so receptive to advice, as these problems seem to age rather quickly. I would like to start with my mental state. I am depressed and irritated. I am quick to anger and ready to hurt myself. It's been a while since I cut myself. Although it has been a while since I dared to pierce my body, I am so close to anger, I don't think I can hold back any longer. Mma has been making me happy and I felt really happy for a while, but something inside me came back; something I can't change. I should go back to the soup kitchen. I will continue these thoughts when I come back.

To the person I love, who may be reading: I love you. I always will.