I remember the moment I realized she wasn't coming back. The moment I realized when my dad said she was "spending some time with Jesus" my dad wasn't talking about a coma...but about her being gone. We were on the way to my sister's work. We had to go get her, tell her the news. And though I was sitting in the back of a moving car, I felt my world come to a halt. All of the air left my body and it was like I was in a vacuum of space. No air, no gravity, no movement, nothing. Black, dark, and cold. A sense of loneliness, that I haven't been able to fully shake ever since, set in and I realized, my life would never be the same. We got to the restaurant, when my sister saw us, she lit up, thinking we had come to see her and get some lunch, maybe give her a big tip. And then she saw the looks on our faces. "What happened?" I heard through the blur of people, sounds, and movement. "Chelsea's gone honey..." "What?! How?! When?! No!!" I don't remember moving to wrap my older sister in a hug, I just know I did. I don't remember forcing the tears to fall, I just know they did. I sat there, trembling, holding her like you would hold a child during a storm. We had gone from 3, to 2. Instead of being asked if we were triplets, we would now be asked if we were twins. I had lost a giant part of who I was, and now I had to learn to live life without that part of me. And in that moment, I had no idea if I was going to make it to the other side of this giant crater that had been left in my life.