I don't know why but lately my heart hurts. It's like the most agonizing and irritable thing as if someone has a grip on it. As if the rough hand tightens when my heart begins to beat. Maybe all my bottled emotions have come into it's own grotesque form and the sole purpose is to see how long I can survive. With every squeeze and short gasp for air the alternate reality I formed begins to crumble. The only thing left are my thoughts and emotions. My thoughts drive me mad while my emotions give me more reasons to despair. I could blame someone but I shouldn't. I want to so I can let my frustration on them...I can't. Maybe if I become unfeeling and thoughtless I can regain my sanity.
I'm already far gone.
My rabbit hole is just going deeper.
What I believed to be light, my exit, my way out was just a smile. It bit my hand when I tried to reach for it. The bite marks seem to have gone deeper into my skin with each bite.
You know, the darkness isn't so bad. It's actually calming but my heart still hurts. It's getting harder to breathe.
I can't breathe.
I can't.