Why do you stay?
I'm no better than the chaos from your past. I'm not who I was when we first met. I'm not the same as I was a year ago. I won't be the same a year from now. The world shapes me into odd and evil things. I can't say how easy it will ever be to be with me, but I know it will never be easy for you. But that's why I stay.
I know you try your hardest despite the fact that I'm just another problem project. I'm broken and some pieces will never get fixed, but some parts will never break. I'm fragile, but unwavering. My word, my spirit, my heart will never change, but my body and my mind will always fall ill. I'm far from healthy. I'm far from perfect.
But in my eyes I see a perfect flower that has bloomed into a garden. But you're more than just something pretty and pleasing to look at. You have dreams, ideas, wants, desires. i'm not sure I could ever deliver. You have needs, and I don't know if I could ever give you the world like I wish I could.
I'll never be chiseled from stone into the perfect person for you. Physically, I'm damaged and probably always will be. I carry shadows of my own fears I try to forget. I've long abandoned the idea of accepting them. I can't change my past. I wish life was as easy as just deleting a few files on your computer, but it seems my life is more complicated than that. I'm a mess, and I'm only hindering you.
Why do you stay with me? Is it because i beg? is it because of my feelings? Do you stay with me for me, or for you?
Will I ever be good enough?
No.
I'll never be good enough.
I never could be.
Kaseki Manji · Mon Sep 04, 2017 @ 01:00am · 0 Comments |