It's times like now that a week without someone is really hard. nnh.. But I understand and fully respect where they went and why. doesn't stop me from missing them. I am going to make an active effort to converse with them more once they are back. I really do love their company.
I realize I have been absent for a while now. I have been dealing with problems with friends and taking time to grieve and come to terms with no longer having Grandpa. I have also busied myself with looking for a full time job on top of trying to work for art. I am hoping one of the two things pick up soon. I really want to be more useful than just sitting around and cleaning. I want to make someone proud of me.
Okay. So. Whats new...
I am in the downwards spiral of having a falling out with someone i hold dear to me. I have been hurt, badly, over and over again by them and cannot handle it anymore. I am hoplessly trying to patch the friendship but I am one of little faith. They do not hold me as an equal. They have ignored and insulted me many a time and I can only allow so much to happen to me. I am tired and spent. If i get screamed at by their significant other one more time i am going to march my a** off the nearest bridge i swear to god. I cannot handle being screamed at instead of spoken to calmly like an adult.
Ahh.. What else... I am officially a co-founder of a closed species on DA! I am super happy! It's really made my night tonight to have that~ I adore the species so its a great honour to be a co-founder. I am really touched that the species creator feels i deserve such a position in her species~
Ahh.. Earlier tonight I tripped and scraped my hands, arm and knee. I do not remember how i ended up on the ground or that i even tripped but my little brother finds it damn funny. I just wish i could remember how it happened ^^;;
I.. Havent been sleeping well. I will stay up until 5-6AM and then wake up around noon. and do it again.. It's.. pretty brutal..
Is there any colour left to find in this world so dull and grey...?
My thoughts are too scrambled to continue writing this.
I will try to be more regular with this again.
thats all lovelies.
· Fri Jul 07, 2017 @ 06:39am · 0 Comments