I'm rather frustrated with both my work and my home life.....Moreso my work life.
Rob has surgery on Friday and has been on leave from work for the past two weeks-ish.
I honestly have zero problem with this...and I'm even less bothered that he may not return to work. I think my concern is a) I can't afford the bills in the house on my little paycheck, he's going to have to get a PT job (Uber/Lyft anyone? I'd rather him not...but that's because I'm stupid and insecure sad )
But overall, I think my concern is that...he won't take this time to do what he needs to do to enrich and enhance his life. He'll lay in bed, take care of daddy, do basic house s**t and that's really all. With this time, he needs to be online doing research, looking for educational programs, really looking inward into what he wants out of life, the challenges he will face and how to overcome them. The internet is like...the magnum opus - a wealth of information at our fingertips so there's no excuse to at least have a plan....even if it's a rough one.
I don't like living in mediocrity and I'm tired of feeling like a watered down version of my true self. I know that sometimes it's just better to lay and be....but I'd like to see some initiative when it comes to bettering his life and our life together. He's talmbout wanting a baby when he can't even read or write effectively. C'mon cry I didn't come into this relationship thinking that I could live in this house the way it is for the rest of my life. I can't even welcome my family in this house the way it is. That honestly should be priority #1. Maybe I should make it so.
I think I just said it best in my texts with Rob:
"The overall aura in the office is fake and annoying, but even if these were the best people In the world to work with the growth opportunities are very limited. I’d rather work with a team, where we're all doing similar tasks and projects so I can learn more and build off them and bounce ideas from. I just want to grow more, professionally and personally. Here and with any on-property positions, it’s just me doing everything.
The professional growth and learning opportunities are so limited that I constantly have to look outside of my position for other opportunities. It’s like trying to learn and grow is has damn part-time job."
And that's it in a nutshell. I've been working over the weekend (and today) to try to wrap up these Google training videos so that I can take the Google Analytics IQ test and get this certification so I can name drop on my UO call like...
"Although I don't have experience working with a retailer or agency, I am very familiar with analytics tracking via my Google Analytics certification and working closing with our Ad agency when developing strategies to enhance our digital footprint."
Or something like that. Honestly...my work aspirations are to work for a great company with people that I like...with minimal responsibilities but a decent paycheck while making money on the side. Similar to what Randy Bowen does. He works at some company on their social media team...the company and team look dope, but he takes modeling and hosting gigs on the side, which I'm sure supplement his income adequately. I only want to rely on a company for stability...but I want my own hustle to outperform and out produce the corporate life. Putting that into the universe right now.
Long story short, I don't want to do any of this anymore. No more events, no more designs, no more collateral, no nothing, tbh. I find it rather annoying that people think I'm inadequate at my job or they expected more yet I'm constantly called on to do this stupidest thing. I mean, ******** Wendy sent me a damn email because she didn't know how to crop a photo. Really? rolleyes
Rob said he's going to make some calls about disability and trying to find daddy a home. I think that will be a great first step in the right direction. More to come.
Mood: Decent xp
Music: "Wild Thoughts" - DJ Khaled featuring Rhianna and Bryson Tiller from Grateful
· Mon Jun 19, 2017 @ 04:33pm · 0 Comments