Finally got around to watching Forrest Gump. Cried so many times throughout. But yea, I liked how this guy on Humans of New York summarised his qualities. "Forrest chooses one thing and he keeps going. ... Forrest figured everything out because he just kept going." I've been giving up on so many things because of set backs, because of excuses I give myself. I really want to pull through with this new found passion in skating, and possibly her, as long as I don't end up being the reason for her unhappiness of course.
It still feels weird, that hearing certain sad songs triggers the tears so easily because of how sudden this separation occurred. The last time I felt such overwhelming sadness was when I was... 10-11? When my father passed away in the middle of the night while I was sleeping soundly. I cried throughout the nights of his funeral and when he was cremated, I just cried throughout the bus ride home and my relatives weren't sure what to say to me.
It's weird how this whole love thing works... Well, I've never been in a relation at all, so maybe I still don't know. But she did make me feel many things I've never felt before and is still making me feel so deeply about so many more things. I'm still hoping things turn out alright over time but yea, this pain really is something else. I don't mind physical pain and things, but emotional and mental pain leaves me feeling so helpless.
Oh well, at least I've been trying my best to turn these emotional energy into my impetus to skate and run so that I worry less. And yea, I should be less negative and not overthink so much to prevent such a situation from happening again.
Anyway, one thing to be thankful today is that she really helped me feel things again, rather than just isolate myself and hide away all these emotions. Oh, and I should be thankful for myself for being able to push myself to improve my speed for the 30min run, averaging 10.5km/h today. Hopefully I can train hard enough to actually get gold this time round? Yup yup, this shall be a daily exercise I guess? Drawing at least 1 positives in my day.
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