St. Patrick's Day has passed, and I've now been on Gaia for a whole year. I'm thinking of retiring my journal pretty soon. I can't write in here forever. Hopefully, I'll find a good place to stop.

Until then, I wanna talk to you about ZOMG. I got around to playing it the other day.

The game started me off in some sort of meadow area with mushrooms around. (I forgot the name of the place. Sorry.) There was only me, myself, and a treasure chest. I opened it out of curiosity, and found a gun. Now who the hell would put that in there? At least it has unlimited ammo. It's the perfect tool to say "I heart the 2nd Amendment!"

After finding that gun, I met a guy in armor called "Commander Leon" He was being chased by monsters. I decided to help him, so I shot the monsters. Then a bigger one showed up. I shot that one too. Leon was relieved. For some reason, Commander Leon asked me, a civilian, if I could help him with his guard tasks. He must've seen how American my shooting skills were, and thought I'd be a valuable ally. I said "yes" to his proposal, not knowing what I was getting into.

One task he wanted me to do involved shooting terrorists- I mean... evil lawn gnomes and flamingos. (I guess they count as terrorists, right?) I did such with gusto.

Leon also wanted me to meet this girl who hung out at a giant crystal. Said girl taught me how to upgrade my weapons. I just needed to use charge orbs to do that. Leon had given me 50, and I used some to upgrade my gun to level 2.

He gave me another mission, where I had to find the lawn gomes' secret camps, where they're likely plotting against us humans. I found the camps, and reported back to him.

After I had completed those missions, Leon had a more difficult one for me. He noticed a gnome in a blue hat that would go around the gnome camps, and send messages. He wanted me to shoot the messenger, and take what he has, so we can look at their plans.

This mission was tough. As I chased the messenger, I constantly found myself surrounded by other gnomes that wanted my blood. In the end, I couldn't shoot them all, and I ended up knocked out my them. I was taken back to the crystal by that girl I saw earlier. I knew I had to go back out there, but I was gonna return stronger than before. With the charge orbs I still had, I upgraded my gun to level 3.

Returning from the crystal, I chased after that messenger once more. I got knocked out again, but I gave it another try. And it's true what they say about the third time being the charm. With my powered-up gun, I was able to overcome the largest gnome mobs. Then I finally shot that blue hatted b*****d.

I returned to Leon with the plans, and he began to read them. Unfortunately, these weren't plans at all. It was just a bunch of jumbled nonsense. I began to believe that these gnomes weren't really plotting something at all. Leon, however, was sure these guys were terrorists. He wanted me to show these plans to some girl (forgot her name) who could decipher them.

Another user with long, white hair told me where I could find this girl. I just had to go north until I reached he town ahead. She'd be guarding the gate.

Thanks to those directions, I was able to find her. I showed her the "plans", and she affirmed my beliefs. These weren't plans. It was just nonsense. She believes that perhaps the gnomes don't mean any harm at all. When they came to life, they may have wanted to be like us humans. They saw the guards attack, and carry information to one another, so they did the same. Perhaps it's best we don't think of them as a threat, and try being peaceful.

I left the town, and told Leon what I had learned. He didn't believe me at all.

Well, that was what I did in ZOMG. It was fun, and I may play more. But until then...

Be Right Back, World!