Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
disorganised thoughts from a careless mind.

Community Member
you're caught between a world where it's safe
and no one is there to hurt you
but you don't want to be alone
you want somewhere there with


it's being stuck in between a cough and a sneeze
wanting to let go
wanting relief
but you're not sure what's more painful
scratching your throat
or burning you nasal airways.


you want to tell them how much it hurts
your foot
your brain
but you can't.
you can't bring yourself
to care enough about your own well being
to sacrifice the chance that someone may not
like you.
[does that even make sense?]


you tell yourself don't let it get to you.
don't show her how broken down you are.
but you can't help it
you can't help the void she left inside you
this deep dark divide that's split you so far down
you're not even sure where the middle is


everywhere around you
people are smiling
making friends
finding lovers.
so what the ******** is wrong with you
why are you so shattered
what made you think you could be
anything else.


you're scared of yourself
if defenestrating yourself wasn't enough
what is?
but now
now you care so little about yourself
that nothing can make it better
nothing can show you someone cares.
you know that
but still
it almost doesn't matter.


the cold air on your skin is refreshing.
it matches what it feels like inside.
yet you feel the burn of vomit climbing its way up your esophagus.
you feel this illness scratching at your core.
you're trapped in your own mind
making your own fears
living out your own nightmares.
how can you hope to recover when your broken bones
were the only escape
you had
the only excuse
to not feel anything else?


Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum

Customize your own avatar now!

Join Now

Have an account? Login Now!