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Latest dating guy lied or didn't know what he really wanted because after 3 days of seeing each other, he disappeared. Radio silence then led to saying he was dealing with things. He didn't "break-up" with me at the time, even though he should have so I had to ******** pester it out of him. Blarg. Whelp then I suggested ******** buddies because I just don't care and he is pretty. It would be good practice for me and he needs something to cheer himself up. If he doesn't treat me well I get to end it so it's not really a terrible deal, except that I'm mad at him internally. I was really falling for him. ********.

Daniel and I went to the beach yesterday, spur of the moment kind of trip, and it was so much fun. The weather was cold because of the overcast weather and fog. Even so, we played in the water and climbed rocks by the water side. We hiked along a path that overlooked the beaches. I should have gone fully underwater but I didn't want to be so cold on the way home... or sticky. Yuck, sticky.

I've still been playing a lot of Fallout 4 and Fantasy Life. I'm at the desert now in Fantasy Life and I only have 4 more lives (occupations) to start. To me, the most difficult lives are cooking and fishing. I found Mining and woodcutting to be easy, contrary to my first assumptions. You would think they would be tough because you have to fight to get into the location then you get to do quests, unlike other occupations that include the getting there part as part of the quest. I think it is easy to spot the trees and mining places, and finding the items is half the trouble.

I've been working on the shrine to Sakura and Axel. I have some basic layout pieces but it is no where done. I started it Saturday Sept. 3rd when the guy I was dating cancelled the date (and basically tried to ghost me). Creative outlets help so much in keeping my sanity. I did walk the thin line there for a bit. I had two panic attacks and sleep did not come easy. I'm still struggling a bit with the sleep, but that's mostly because I give in to the temptation and let the mind stay awake. I indulge my mind, whatever.

I think a lot about the end of the year. I'm already thinking of last things I want to do before it ends and what might lie ahead in the next year. I think about what I could do for my friends to celebrate their journies, and maybe thank them for allowing me to be a part of it. I feel like so many of my friends (and my brother) still live lives where they feel invisible or unappreciated. I don't know if I'm projecting, but I do hope strongly that they know people can see the strength inside of them. They have all grown so much and I'm so very proud to have been able to see it. I hope they show more people their light <3