Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Love... is either a terrible or wonderful thing. I feel for someone. I want to be closer to someone. I even want to be someone's lover. I want to take care of someone as much as I want to be taken care of in return. I want to be a better lover though I have my doubts about my skills of being one. I have my doubts of being worthy in someone's eyes. Being friends is enough though my feelings sometimes drown me. I feel love's pain from time to time since I feel I am unworthy of expressing it. Especially that I believe my feelings are not to be returned. Jealousy pops up from time to time every time I see someone I love gets closer to someone else, but I retain it inside as I know that it's childish of me and I have no right to be jealous. I have not claim someone so it is not my place to be jealous. Beside someone else makes the person I love happy so that's alright. I want to see someone happy. I cannot afford to be greedy. Be happy with what I already have and that is enough. I must admit the feelings I have is making me uncertain since I've not loved someone this much before. Is it love? I do not know. All I know is I must not act on it since it is one sided. I shall love someone from afar and be a true friend instead. I desire to be a true friend since we are friends after all. It shall be enough. Though I have this hope that it shall change in the future however for now, I must not be so greedy and be happy with what I already have. It's enough for me and I shall try and seek somewhere else for love. Especially the love that is to be returned. Though I do not desire to do so but I must.

I love you.