Well, here I am again. I find myself longing for you, needing just the momentary contact that I once had so freely. Of course, I have no one to blame but myself. I was the one that stopped it all, changed the rules of our little game and turned the table over on you. My reality took over and stole me away, leaving you behind to deal with what I had done. I don't know if I hurt you, because you say nothing to me. And yet, somehow, I wish I knew if the pain had been there. Is that wrong of me? To wish for the knowledge that my lack of existence had taken a toll on you? Possibly....
*Sighs* Why do I do this to myself? Tormenting myself with the memory of you, wishing for what has already come to pass. Just seeing your name online has me itching to connect with you, while at the same time giving me butterflies in my stomach. You haunt my dreams, taunting me with your voice and calling out for me in a way I know you never will again. Gods above, I am seriously losing it!
Should I just let you go and move on with life? Is that even possible? I doubt it, since I find myself seeing you in everything I do within the world of Gaia. I know I will never be able to leave the fantasy I have created on here, so I am to be tortured forever it seems. Ah, what a twisted life I lead....
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The workings of a rather strange mind...
Within this journal, I have a tendency to ramble and I won't apologize for it. My thoughts, feelings, everything that I am exists within all of these words. If you don't like them, feel free to not read them. They aren't for you, they're for me.
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heart Art by: Laxan Enore heart