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Storytime
Some truths about me.
For a resolution this year, I've decided to be more truthful and honest with myself and others, as well as working on my physique. Giving the dark truth I'm about to make might give others insight as to why I behave the way I do, how I can be so laid back and accepting of nearly everything. Think of me what you will after this, but this is the simple, cold truth about me and my life so far. So, let's start this year off with a bang, shall we?

First off, yes, I am a furry, and I have been so since I was 8 years old. Since I've talked to quite a few people who have no idea about the furry community and were told all we do is bestiality, no, this does not mean I bang animals nor does it mean any other fur does; we don't live in Scotland where it's a rite of passage. I also do not wear fursuits and go to gang bang parties, this is actually an extremely false rumor about us; only a small handful indulge in that. This simply means I have found, and accept, my inner animal spirit. Think of it as the Native American spirit guardians; each one of us has one, whether they believe in it or not. Mine happens to be a wolf; majestic, proud, capable of leading their own pack single handedly, savage when need be, yet also kind and caring to those closest to his heart. The wolf would give his life for the safety of his pack, for they are his family, his life, his responsibility to protect.
Yes, I do sometimes look at furry porn, that's no particular secret as I do not hide that I'm a furry. Do I fantasize about being a real wolf, running free in a field, providing for my own pack? Yes, I do. I do not, however, get on all fours and pretend I am a wolf; the beauty of the human mind is we are able to imagine vast amounts of different possibilities, endless possibilities. This is proven by the sort of books humans can write, movies we make, and even our own dreams. Do I find furry porn attractive? Yes. This doesn't mean I dress up as an animal, or get my freak on with animals, or even go through my life pretending I am something that I'm clearly not. I am human, and going back to the human mind, I am free to use my mind to imagine anything I wish, not one single person can stop me. The same applies to you, or anyone else; what you choose to imagine with YOUR own mind, is YOUR own business and freedom, DO NOT let anyone tell you otherwise. If you're ever confused as to how real furries are, what being a real on entails (not the stupid, false rumors one hears on the internet), then simply ask a real one, don't just assume we're all the same. That's akin to saying all white people are the same, or all Japanese people are the same; it's racist and ignorant.

Now, the darker truth about me which may give light to why I am the way I am today; when I was 7, a mere child, I was nearly raped by a man with HIV. Had he actually gone through with it, I most likely would be dead by now. Ooh, repressed memories, right? Except I never repressed them, they have always been there, even today. Now is the time where you say "Oh pff, he's full of s**t", right? Believe what you will, I do not care, it won't stop me from giving the truth. At the time he was my mother's boyfriend and I trusted this man, as much as a 7 year old child could trust. However, even at 7, my mind and emotions had developed far beyond my peers and even then I was able to understand complex situations. I do not, and still do not, hate this man. By all means of human nature, I should despise him for what he tried to do to me, but I don't. Why, you ask? Because even then I understood; he made a conscience decision to stop himself, perhaps knowing it would eventually kill me, or perhaps feeling extreme guilt. I do not care why he stopped, I only care that he did stop and because of that I am alive today. Back then, and even today, I saw it as a second chance; my life was in his hands, and had he gone through with it my life all the way up until the day I would have died from AIDS would have been vastly different from what I actually went through. Yes I still lead a hard chilhood, always the butt of everyone's jokes for how much more physically and mentally mature I was than my classmates and how I was the quiet kid in the corner. Quite easy to poke fun at that person, isn't it? However you do not know what that kid has been through to make him be so quiet and closed off from the rest of the school, or even the world. Poking fun at such a person may very well lead to them taking their own life; I saw this in 8th grade, when a 6th grader hung himself for being picked on.
I've strayed a bit from my point though... The man did stop, and I am alive because he did. It took a few days after that incident for me to accept it happened, but I accepted it, shrugged, and moved on with my childhood.I have never really kept it as a secret, however, since no one has ever asked, I never told as I did not see the need to cry about it and beg for attention from others who had their own life to live. It was my issue, my burden, and I shouldered it and moved on, always carrying it in the back of my mind, sometimes as inspiration to help me move forward. As I said, I thought of it as a second chance at life, a chance to try and make something of myself, of the life he nearly destroyed. As such, I graduated with multiple honors from high school and am now attempting to go to college, learn multiple languages and be a translator.
Of the few people I have told about this experience, my mom included, some questions I got after it sunk in was "Did it turn you gay?" or "Do you hate homosexuals now?" Let me clarify, without trying to offend anyone reading; This experience did not turn me gay, nor do I hate or dislike gays; people are free to be with who they wish. I have gay male and female friends, as well as gay family members, and even an aunt who is now my uncle. I still very much enjoy the ladies, but I also won't walk up to a gay male and say "Gross, that's wrong, dude." Again, freedom is one of our best traits and I do not care if you like opposite or same genders, nor do I care what color your skin is; all that matters is how you treat people. If you're white and treat people like human garbage, I'm going to treat you the same way I would anyone else that was like that. That man treated me horribly that one time, yes, but times before and even after that he was a nice and caring man. I do not know if that's because he knew he had HIV and it would eventually kill him or if that's just how he was, and I do not care either way, but I still don't hate or even dislike him.

I should make it clear... I do not hate very easily. I shrug off most things and if angered, I am typically over it within an hour and it's forgotten, pushed to the back of my mind. Of the people I do actually hate, these are people who truly did me wrong, and I can count them on only one hand. Of the people I truly love and trust, well... These people can also only be counted on one hand. Thus, those that I do love and trust, they are the world to me and I'd give my life for them if such a need arose. To this day, however, and even before that incident... I've always been able to just stare at the clouds, thinking and imagining freely. That's always been me, even in childhood; the deep thinker, the logical one, strong minded and most importantly... Free. I mostly wrote down these truths about me in the hopes that others may also find their own strengths.





Suntail Wolf
Community Member
  • 04/23/17 to 04/16/17 (1)
  • 01/11/15 to 01/04/15 (1)
  • 06/01/14 to 05/25/14 (3)

  • User Comments: [3] [add]
    Nightmare Kitsu
    Community Member
    avatar
    commentCommented on: Tue Jan 06, 2015 @ 07:36am
    I have input but not going to put it here... If you want to know you can pm me


    commentCommented on: Tue Jan 06, 2015 @ 04:23pm
    Deep my furry friend. I'm glad you're bettering yourself, and sorry you have suffered.



    Raspberry Regicide
    Community Member
    Suntail Wolf
    Community Member
    avatar
    commentCommented on: Tue Jan 06, 2015 @ 07:42pm
    Everyone has suffered at some point, but I'm in no way saying my suffering was worse. Simply stating how I was able to get over it, in hopes others will find their own hidden strengths.


    User Comments: [3] [add]
     
     
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