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The theme of this entry.

I remember... it was a long time ago, when I was real little. Like, I was tiny, a bright eyed little child, living out the most peaceful times I can remember, to date c:
My parents decided to give us kids some money to spend, and it wasn't even a holiday yet =O So, all of us kids went out and spent the money however we wanted to. I remember clearly... I bought Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Darkness, and I bought Pokemon Sapphire Version I also bought a bathrobe with polar bears all over it, and some other things. My brother bought some stuff, which included Final Fantasy XII, and my other brother bought some stuff... which I can't remember xD My sister, too. So, it was like Christmas, but not Christmas yet. We all came home with all kinds of new goodies, and we all had so much fun. Not necessarily together, but around one another, since I was submerged in new Pokemon games, which were the pinnacle of enjoyment for me. They still are, even though they're much more than just entertainment, and they always have been. Pokemon inspired me unlike anything else, because it's my favorite things. Pokemon is ideal to me, pleasing every part of me in a way that makes it ideal for me. It has always been that, and so, it's my biggest inspiration as an artist today.
Anyway... this theme is deeply linked with all these memories that I'm revisiting in this entry.

Rabanastre

My brother and I shared a room, so while he was running around Rabanastre, I was playing Pokemon. My brother Matt was with us as well, except maybe when he was in his room, doing his things. I remember a lot of things from that time... first of all, we all watched I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry together. It was hilarious xD
I also remember the kitchen, being dim, lit with candles... and I remember Seether. There was one CD by Seether in particular that my brother had acquired, and I was in love with Seether, so that CD reminds me of these times.
I played Pokemon Mystery Dungeon for the first time ever, and I hated it, because I was trying to take on the toughest jobs possible at the beginning of the game, because I thought I was supposed to... when it turns out that there are considerably less difficult missions that you're supposed to do. I rage quit Pokemon Mystery Dungeon for the longest time... funny that it's my favorite game of all time, today. But, I started playing Pokemon Sapphire Version, which I understood quite a bit more. I fell in love with it immediately, and I remember playing it until I passed out, with the DS on my chest. I woke up, and I saw that the battery was at red. I managed to save it and turn it off, before passing out again... xP
This era in my life might have been my happiest times ever. That, or the Christmas when I got a bunch of new Pokemon games, including the first Pokemon Ranger, and a whole giant box full of Pokemon toys xD This was all a long, long time ago, when i was little, and my family was still together. Before the bitter arguments that separated my family, and caused my father to separate me from my brother and restrict me from even thinking of talking to him. This was back when there were no problems at all, everyone was happy. These were the happiest days of my life, I think. Maybe that Christmas was, maybe those late nights playing Halo 3 with my brother were. but, so many memories came after Pokemon mystery Dungeon, that I revisit most fondly. I reached Mystifying Forest for the first time, and I had to get my brother to beat Wigglytuff and the guild for me, while my sister played Valkyrie Profile, and my father and his girlfriend (the mother of my "brother" and "sister" wink made a bunch of Thanksgiving food in the kitchen. I mean... can you see that? All the adults in the kitchen, cooking so much delicious food, talking and doing their things, and all the kids in the other room, all playing their video games together? I had no idea, back then, that it was all going downhill, but it didn't matter at the time. What I didn't know didn't hurt me, and that peace lasted for long enough... long enough for me to make these memories. It feels unspeakably painful, when I look back on these memories and then look at my life today. But I'm so glad that I have these memories.
So, this remembrance comes about... because of the deep excitement that I have, giving me butterflies in my abdomen 0u0 Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby are coming out in one month, and I binge-watched news on it, released on the Official Pokemon Channel. I intend to buy it as soon as it hits the shelves, of course. I remember this same excitement, from so many times in my past. Pokemon Black 2, back when it was freezing cold... Pokemon X, which I paid for with my first job, as well as the 3DS. Now, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire. I can't wait. And it's taking me back...
Last year, I bought Pokemon X, and I made memories, playing it. This was when Phobia was being conceived in my head. I remember looking at my protagonist in Pokemon X, who had blonde hair and green eyes. I thought "The main character of Phobia has to have blonde hair." Either way, I found myself feeling anxious at the thought of the Generation 3 remakes. My memories of my first Generation 3 adventures are so sweet that they can't be rivaled. What if these new memories just dim in comparison? Everything seems to xD
Still. It doesn't matter. I'll love it. And, remembering all of these makes me see the people who are in my life. They're not with me now, I need to find some of them. But, I am someone. I do have a past, and there is, at least, one person who I know will be there. I know he'll talk with me. If I were to reminisce about the past, he'd listen, and more than anything... he'd remember too. He'd listen, and even remember the same times that I'm talking about. My brother Matt... his life has changed, too. But our pasts are linked. I have to reconnect with him. Then, for the first time in so many years, I won't feel utterly alone. I will have someone. When we last talked, he said to me "You're the best little bro in the world." I remember feeling this warmth and this strength, and happiness- the feeling of not being totally alone, with no one around you but yourself. I felt like someone was there, and for the first time, I didn't feel like I was being crushed by my own anger, restlessness, apathy, loneliness, uncertainty, fear, and emptiness. I certainly didn't feel all of these true, real causers of pain, back when my family was still together. Because of that, I feel like he's the only link I have with a time that didn't hurt so much. And not only that, he's also the same guy that I stayed up all night with, night after night, playing video games, bonding, sleeping all day. That was our childhood, together.
Lately, Hoenn has become a big part of my mind. Not even because of the Generation 3 remakes- it was even before that. Pokemon Black and White 2 has traces of Hoenn in it. The theme above might be what evoked these new ideas in my head, which will turn into something big. It brought back the memories of Hoenn, the deep connection Hoenn has with the ocean, which is one of my biggest obsessions, thanks to Surrounded Sea, in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Darkness (or Time, and Sky). Lately, I see a seaside city, like the one in yet another Pokemon title, that is as big a part of my childhood as anything else. Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea. My favorite movie, and yet another oceanic inspiration that certainly helped shape my obsession for the sea. Lately, I've been listening to this theme, which bring back so many memories of Hoenn:

Hoenn, Abandoned Ship

I think it's just because of how oceanic this theme is, the images of the coastal city that I see, the the strip out to the vast, watery expanses on a white ship... the half-submerged islands, and the dazzling underwater sights, below the shimmering surface. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all of this inspiration, but that's not the only theme that I listen to, while viewing all of these images in my head.
For some reason, this theme, totally unrelated to Hoenn and the ocean, makes me see the same thing. Especially at 1:23, for some reason... I don't know why it makes me see such glorious images of the sea, and this new place being conceived in my mind.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Gates to Infinity, Kilionea Road

Hoenn isn't only responsible for developing my obsession with the ocean, but it's also responsible for so many other memories, happy times, deep inspirations, and unforgettable adventures. And, as Hoenn is responsible for all of these priceless memories, and all of this priceless inspiration, so is Pokemon as a whole. And, so, these things are a part of me. These things swirl together, and they are my colors. They're what make me, me. They're my origins... and in pondering them, it's almost like I've looked into a mirror for the first time. I can almost see myself walking through my life, through my own eyes. I see this image of me... and I feel like I'm finally meeting him. Or maybe, I'm welcoming him back after so very long...
That doesn't mean that all is well in my life. Quite the opposite, since I'm going through quite a bit of stressful and depressing things. But, I can see a more peaceful time... and before I die, I'll ask myself "Did I ever feel that happiness again, before my death?"
I wonder if I'll be able to say "Yes... I found that peace, and that happiness, once again."