Just got up today and bathed. Watched supernatural while eating breakfast and have been playing a video game. Tempted to go for a walk, just to clear my head. I've had so much worrying me. I find myself thinking that maybe this is just too much. Maybe in the end, it won't be worth it. And even though it might hurt now, at least when time heals, I can move on. Maybe. I'm not exactly over my suicidal thoughts yet. Every time I stop and think things are going good, I either remember the bull s**t a** past behind me, or someone does something stupid. I just hate so much. I don't know what I want anymore.