Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I'm kind of going through a tough time right now.
And I know that means my emotional state is kind of fogging up my ideas about a lot of things but…
I thought things were different.
I thought some people were different.
But now I see they're not.
I'm still alone.
The friends that I thought were different, weren't any different.
No one wants me.
No one needs me for anything.
You have to realize how…empty that feels.
I hate being in one-sided relationships.
I hate that people don't see me in any special way.
I'm special dammit.
I'm a good person.
I give everyone everything I have.
Maybe they don't realize how much I give them.
But every time they just…just stomp on it.
They don't mean to do it
But I'm in so much pain about this stupid stuff all the time.
I'm so tired of being alone.
But opening up to people doesn't make them feel the level of friendship you feel.
It's like, "Oh hey! There she is. I like talking to her every now and then."
No one seeks me out.
Out of pity, maybe for a few days, if I'm stupid enough to mention my loneliness.
But it doesn't last.
Stop hurting me
Please
It's getting to the point where I want to be alone
Because that pain is becoming more tolerable.
I feel sick