Dear Kia,
We started off as good friends, we talked, had and had fun. At one point I even thought I could speak pretty freely to you. I believe we had a good time hanging with each other. Soon enough you introduced me to your inner gaia family, Alch, Rosa. and I had fun even then, I always being nice and trying to hug everyone. Although in truth large groups have always been hard for me, I'm afraid I don't speak enough, that I cling around one person too much. And thus soon I was called the 'cat' of the family, and showed me that your extended family Megan and Ron. I was a bit scared of such a large family, where would I fit in. I remember the time you added me to a skype call, although it was only once, I was a bit scared at first, afraid that you and Alch were going to be bad to an intruder on their call, soon enough though I realized you had fun, and agreed that I act very much like a cat. I honestly wished to have more of those calls, but they really never really came, and it felt like you sometimes ignored my skype messages anyways, so I don't really blame you for removing me from your skype later. But soon enough I got into one of my phases over it anyways, you removed me: could this mean she really doesn't want me around? Kinda a stupid idea but still I was acting a bit secluded at the time, I was having a hard time finding a place to stand next to you, the one on one talks seemed to be a thing of the past as you were always standing next to someone, always talking to them. So I ended up clinging to Rosa most the time, as she enjoyed the cat side of my personality: less talking, more clinging, petting and cuddling. Because I always found it scary to get between two people talking and.. it's hard to talk to people in big groups for me. I'm sorry I'm this way but, it's how it is, and thus true problems started to arise. You started complaining that I wasn't very talkative now, that I should come up and greet you and not stand so far away. I acted like a fearful child, specially around strangers whom you haven't really introduced me to. And these complaints got me to hold back even longer.. as they didn't seem like a nice 'come here little one' more like a 'if you aren't coming over I'll just assume you never really wanted to talk to me'. I began falling farther away, only really being near when Rosa came and pulled me in as a cat. And as it happens you were also never really alone anymore, we could never talk one on one, and when we did you complained about how I acted around your friends, how I wasn't able to come up and speak, to join you. Then the emotional kicker set in.. I said something bad to one of your friends, Megan, who got very emotionally distressed about it; so kinda scared me so much that I took a break from gaia immediately afterwards.. when I came back Megan seemed to have deleted and readded me, but you deleted me, which kinda deleted my real tie with the entire family. I tried to play it as if nothing had happened, tried to be accepted by Megan, saying hi to her every now and then. Then.. I tried to ask you to readd me, it came out as asking you why you deleted me in the first place. You acted like I was dumb, like I had forgotten. Then your reply, was one word 'Megan'. And thus.. I realized that telling a girl that her pixelated shirt was a bit too low cut, got me kicked from the family. I was wrenched, it showed me that I couldn't piece things back together. Saddened I stopped living the lie that I could and re-deleted Megan, leaving her a parting profile comment. And thus, I'm sorry for acting the way I do now, when I try to talk to you. I always feel like it's dangerous, to say anything to you guys anymore. I really do hope you have a great life ahead of you, with Alch and with the everyone else you hold dear.
~Tears
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