The image of you that night still clings to my mind when you were in that four feet of snow.
Your legs bare, were delicate and beautiful. Even though there was a smile across your face and happiness in your manner, the snow you stepped on turned black and weak.
You hugged yourself because you were afraid the blackness would swallow you.
Your legs would tremble as you tried to fight against the tears.
To see you... you... standing there with all that fear while all I could do was watch... I never felt more useless in my life.
I wanted to get you far from that place and keep you somewhere where you could always be happy--even if you were better off without me. I wanted to protect you from all the things you found cruel in the world. I wanted so many things but.. I just had to watch.
I remember you telling me that I never looked more alive than when I was with you.
Back then, I truly believed you were the reason I lived because just by thinking about you I had the energy to get up every morning and go about my methodical life.
You really did bring out the best in me, even when people were convinced I didn't have a future... and when I convinced myself too I didnt have one.
Our talks and your voice through the phone had rapidly become a routine I looked forward to every day. Because love like this..even if it hurts like this.. is unique.
When you couldn't fight back against the tears any longer you gave up and tumbled into the snow. You tumbled into the four feet of black snow because you were tired of being miserable.
I will always blame myself for not realizing sooner what you were dealing with.
Your legs bare, became black and they were no longer delicate and beautiful.
In the minutes that followed I was never more alone.
The sun radiated and showered it's warmth onto you. The snow melted along with your body and all that remained was your pure heart.
You will always remain a genuine & loving person