The way I've been feeling. MY body is sick with a stomach virus and a head cold. My face is always red and feels like fire especially as work in the heat and sweat. I've been having shakes and my stuttering is coming back. I am loosing grip in my hands, dropping sh*t and not being able to grab it. I feel like I want to chop off my ankles so I don't have to feel pain anymore and my back is always killing me. Whether I sleep for three hours or 14 or in between my body still wakes up hurting and is never rested. I am emotionally and mentally unstable. I'm constantly ready to walk out of my job. I'm ready to cut my hours to 3 days a week IF THAT. I am under constant stress with my mom. I can't talk to her without there being a fight.

I have to do what she says when it's convenient for her and Johnny and sorry but I don't work that way. If I got rain or work f*ck that. I can't do it. My nerves are surpassed being shot. It's completely stress free in the house when my mom leaves to go to my brothers. If my counselor asks me if I want to leave... I should just say yes and this time... never leave. I was fine where I was... no bills.... cooked food, arts and crafts... I was fine there. Yeah I missed my phone and talking with friends and computer.... the #1 thing I missed the most... was music. And it isn't American music that you could listen on the radio it was music on youtube, music downloaded to my phone, music downloaded to my computer.