-breathe deeply-

-in- -out- -in- -out-

How am I supposed to like Mike damnit?! Taylor wants me and Mike to get along but then they go and make me listen to their f*cking arguments. I'm still mad at Mike.... How do you like someone like him? I don't know how to. I have tried forgiving him for no reason other than Taylor wants me and him to get along, but then he keeps f*cking up. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. It would be a lot easier if he just consistently stopped being a douche.

In all honesty Their arguments shouldn't bother me but they do. Alot. I shouldn't get so much pain from someone else's relationship problems, then again I've been working on my empathy... I guess this is what I wanted.

The amount of time its going to take for Mike and I to recover from this will likely be a long time. IDK maybe I should just forgive him just because? I know he doesn't deserve it but that's what Taylor wants... I think I cry more from their fights than both of them combined, although I doubt Mike cries from their fights often.

It's weird cause Jess and I had fights that were probably at least as bad over the course of our relationship, and they didn't hurt as bad. Maybe they hurt more? I can't even remember anymore. I am so glad I am away from Jess. I feel heaps better, even having to deal with Mike. Irregardless I won't have to deal with him forever. 8 More months at least? Maybe?

Honestly I wish it were less. The only way it will be less is if he f*cks up and Taylor kicks him out. Whether or not she would actually go through with it if he quit his job again is questionable. Idk. At least that is the only probable way. I used to not mind mike at all. I used to even like him. My opinion of him has deteriorated over time and I honestly believe it is entirely due to him and not Taylor also due partially to me pushjing him away. I doubt anyone believes me when I say that, they probably just think it is jealousy. I beg to differ. I can beg to differ all I want though and no one will listen.

I am so much like Elsa in a lot of ways different in an equal amount of ways, but yeah. I know so much about how she would feel if she existed. I have no problem with empathy with regards to her, not that she even exists or anything. I just understand how she feels having to kill off her emotions for the love of her sister. I have had to do somewhat similar things before although not on such a terribly large temporal scale. Side note: Gaia's spellchecker sucks.

Frozen is approaching my favorite movie of all time, and I have seen a lot of f*cking awesome movies, that may or may not have left me in awe. For now it's grave of the fireflies but it could easily change to Frozen within the next week or so or more. I really like the soundtrack a lot and have been listening to it most nights when I go to sleep.

I wish I could build a snowman... I don't think I can explain what I mean by that atm. It means nothing like what it sounds like in this context. By the time I can explain it I probably will have forgotten what I meant by it. C'est la vie.