So we talked a bit...
So we went to lunch...
So we are going to prom.... I guess...
You may be wondering... "Justin why do you sound so unenthusiastic?! Aren't you going to prom with someone who is great and amazing to you?!"
well um yeah um...
I want to kill myself, that's how I feel right now.
I feel so depressed, like seriously I need help depressed.
My brain feels like it's melting in place, and I just want to yell "f*ck" a bunch of times for no real reason...
"Justin, you still haven't explained yourself... what's wrong?"
What is wrong?
Honestly? What is wrong myself? Didn't I get what I wanted?
She went to lunch with me and she said yes to prom with me
Shouldn't I just be so f*cking happy?
I'm actually even more depressed that before.
(In case if you were wondering, that was me bashing my head into my keyboard)
Have you ever just felt like a f*cking ghost? Or a tool?
It's like what do you only want me because I bugged you too much or something??
Are my emotions just a joke to you? Do you just want to mess around with me like Legos then carelessly destroy me?
You are sitting here having all the question from me, my audience, but I just have all the f*cking questions to myself...
Now that I have wasted part of your time let's get to the explaining part.
I don't know what it is, but she could literally care less about me, and do I think that's necessarily true.... um idk... but thats what it really feels like.
It's amazing how someone who did such minuscule of things literally is making me feel absolutely worthless; I say that because I guarantee you by something spontaneous 1 in a million chances read this she'd be like
"wtf I didn't even do anything"
You know what, YOU ARE RIGHT. IM JUST A STUPID DUMBASS MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF WRITING THIS. IM JUST CRAZY AND WEIRD
That nothing you have done is literally killing me, it's like falling in love with a wall, what the f*ck did u expect, WORDS? Haha silly you
ITS A f*ckING WAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL it doesnt talk
it doesnt think
it doesnt move
its almost as if it doesnt even have feelings
no life to it no action
BUT YOU oh hoho
YOU GOTTA BE ALL ACTION
LIKE f*ckING PERFECT
OR THIS WALL WILL JUST LOOK THE OTHER f*ckING WAY
You have to look attractive, hot, likeable, sexy
EVERY POSITIVE THING ABOUT A MAN OR YOURE JUST DOG sh*t NOTHING BUDDY
Maybe Im just overthinking this... but in my perspective, if Im not those things, she will walk right through me like im a f*cking ghost
Yeah Im just a stupid sliding glass door that she cant open
like im just getting in the way of whats in front of her and I should just f*cking go away
Im pathetic and worthless and dumb
and unattractive and absolutely nothing
I am nothing
· Mon Apr 07, 2014 @ 04:15am · 0 Comments