I've got a song to share that has a country lilt to it. It pretty much sums up my mood. I feel weaker this week, I think I might have another cyst, thankfully not big enough to cause any pain but enough to wreak havoc with my hormones. I usually get this way when that happens. My emotional ability to balance everything that is thrown at me is tipped and I end up not being able to hide raw emotion as effectively. I've had a few really negative thoughts, but I went on a walk today and went swinging. I should've sat down and watched the water mix. I was preoccupied a bit because the beach is in the same direction that JP lives and I know that he sometimes went there. I didn't look up, rather I kept my gaze to the ground, which suited me well considering I needed to make sure I didn't wander close enough to the water to soak my shoes. I can't risk seeing him when my hormones are messing with my mind. I'd probably cry if I saw him now, just thinking about it is tough. At least I can manage how bad the negative thoughts get even if I can't control how receptive I am to emotions now. I can't figure whether it's my hormones or my displeasure over forgetting him that came first. I think it's a mixture of both. All of the attraction and resulting stress aggravate what already occurs without the two.
Le Visage Inconnu
· Thu Mar 27, 2014 @ 05:49am · 0 Comments