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"Ok not meaning this in a mean way. But you can talk about Ryan without pointing out in every post that he is autistic. We all know. I don't put in every post my son is pretty much blind. Ryan is a cutie and hits milestones all the time. Yes its sad he has it but he should be treated like a normal child. I don't know him and love him to death. I cheer him on."


This comment literally made me delete my Facebook. I am so done with that damn site. I have been ridiculed and criticized for the last time over my son's diagnosis. No, I do not make ANY secret that my son is permanently disabled. I am guilty of that. WHY? Because it's MY way of coping. I feel good knowing that I plaster it on facebook.
He will never live a normal life like her little boy. At least she can take her son to Mcdonald's and buy him a happy meal. At least she can carry on a conversation with her baby. With her child, at least there's some sort of hope. Special glasses, eye surgery, etc. With my son? Therapy and prayer for the best. That's it. There's no guarantee that he's even going to be able to live by himself, let alone have a family of his own. He's my ONLY child. I'm still new to all of this disability stuff...
It's enough to gut you, knowing your own flesh and blood will never to live like you. It's one of the most painful things a parent can go through... knowing that your only child is almost 5 and still has to wear diapers. The fact that he has a severe eating disorder and you want to share your chicken nuggets with him SO bad and you can't, because he'll either shove it at you or puke everywhere. You see other children at school, passing you, saying "Mommy! Guess what I did in class today!?" And you look up, an aid brings your child out, not even noticing you're there as he flaps his arms at the door opening. Letting him spend the night at mimi's, you go pick him up the next day, and it takes him a half hour for him to catch that you're even there.
Every little milestone is the most beautiful, appreciated, most precious thing, even though he's a few years late. Of COURSE I'm gonna share the wonderful news. Any parent would...
He's been called fat. He's been called retarded. He's been bullied without him even knowing it. I wish I could turn the gutting feeling to all of these individuals instead, and maybe they'll have a slight clue of what I contend with on a daily basis. I can guarantee they would back up and never say the first word ever again. It's like a huge weight is on my shoulders. It's so beautiful, but it's so painful at the same time.
When you have a child and see their little face, you instantly dream of all the possibilities.. you imagine while watching them grow.. you see them thriving.. rolling over for the first time, their first smile, discovering their fingers and toes.. their first word..
And then just like that, it's all gone. Like you're on a plane to Australia, and you watch the plane do a sudden turn and land in Russia. All of the people walking around you are speaking in a different language. You're so confused, you're hurt because you wasn't expecting this. You don't know how to order anything from a restaurant because you can't speak the language. Shops don't accept your money because they don't know how to give you back the appropriate change.

-sigh- .... I'm done ranting.