Duration: January 2013
Status: Defunct
Itachi, Kisame, etc - me
Sasuke - silver-phoenix_zaniyah
Comments: ...My ex-bf called me back to a MMO we played together and I forgot about Gaia then after. C'; so I never got to reply /stupid
***
Konoha was a disaster. The entire village was wreck. Then again that was an understatement, as they were in the rebuilding stages anyways. The fourth great shinobi war ended and peace seemed to come at long last, but for how long was the question. Nonetheless, Sasuke was dragged back by Naruto, much to the young raven's displeasure. He rather not set foot in this town. Sadly they called for his death, despite him being some help during the war. Tsunade managed to sway their decision and now Sasuke was a captive within the village. He was finally released on house arrest.
Sadly all his friends ended up turning their back on him. Heck even the bond he shared being Naruto had managed to break. Nobody came to visit and Sasuke was left to fall more into the darkness, Nobody was there to pick him up, he had nothing left. He had to resort to other means to occupy himself. Not like anyone cared. He could kill himself and nobody would give a damn. Life really wasn't on Sasuke's side and he had contemplated on ending his life a few times, he just never fully went through with it.
Shaking his head, the young raven was sitting on the couch. He was reading a scroll trying to pass time. What else did he have left to do? Sighing softly, he moved his hand up and brushed some raven hair from his face. A frown on his face. At least his place was far enough away from the villager's wrath. Sadly it still didn't stop them from showing their hatred for him. Sasuke frowned, wondering what was left in his life.
***
So the rumors were true. Itachi's younger brother had been retrieved during the turmoil of the recent war. It was no surprise that Sasuke had been taken custody as a prisoner of war however. He did willingly defect to the enemies and soon took on The Konoha forces. Nonetheless, The jounin felt a sense of relief wash over her, knowing that the other Uchiha she was acquainted with was very well alive. But at the same time, she was filled with twisted knots of guilt and regret, as she looked back on her former team mate.
To this very day, Kanon and Daichi remained the older Uchiha's staunchest defenders, even extending to indirectly caring for Sasuke as years went by. Not having been able to do anything prior Itachi's defection and massacre of his entire clan, the two of them were riddled with could have beens. The female of the now defunct trio somehow saw this as an opportunity to finally make up for it. She would see to it that she would find means and ways towards the younger Uchiha.
It seemed like fate that as one of the lower end medic nins, she found herself charged with overseeing the boy's health records during his house arrest. The prior nin went on leave due to sickness and the job landed on her lap. Perfect.
Would he remember her? A frown on then jounin's face. No matter. Kanon however still remembered that Itachi once said that the younger raven had a liking for this particular meal from the local ramen store.
After passing the rudimentary security protocols, she was given access to the house where Sasuke was being hold. The woman walked up to the door, took a deep breath and knocked gently yet audibly, "Good morning, Sasuke. Medical check up. Let me know when you're ready. Thank you."
***
Sasuke sighed softly. He threw the scroll onto the table. It wasn't helping much at all. He just couldn't focus on it. Maybe he had too much on his mind. Maybe he was feeling cooped up. Heck he was on freaking house arrest. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere without and escort, like anyone would escort him. He felt suffocated in this place. He wanted his freedom back. He wanted his friends. Sadly neither of those would be happening. Maybe his freedom in the near future, but friends no. He would never get those back.
Frowning, he stood up and gazed at his wrists. They were bandaged lightly, as he felt that cutting helped cope with the sense of loneliness and unease that encased his being. Seeing himself bleed, let him know that he was indeed still alone. It just wasn't a healthy habit he picked up. Not like anyone would notice. He attempted his own life once before, but somehow he woke up the next morning very much alive. This frustrated the young raven. He didn't try again. Instead he decided to just bleed. It helped him cope with the darkness and swallow his sins.
Sasuke perked up, when he heard a female voice. He frowned and dropped the sleeve down. A checkup? Why the hell did he need a check up? It wasn't like he was going to kill himself anytime soon. Grumbling softly, he nodded and stood up. "Yeah I'm ready. Let's do this.' His voice was cold and detached. He didn't have a reason to keep living anymore. What was left for him in this world? Sasuke just felt like an emotionless husk of his former self and it wasn't a good feeling.
***
Kanon sighed in relief and smiled, gesturing for the door to be opened by the guard. After hearing the familiar click, she bowed in gratitude and entered the threshold. While she slipped out of her sandals, the jounin looked around the safe house and was amazed. It was a house in the outskirts of town, one of many little houses perched on the mountain side, overlooking Konoha. Once inside, it proved to be quite a spacious and well equipped house, perhaps enough for a family of five. Unless you knew it was a holding facility, it was hard to suspect otherwise. She found this arrangement odd though, it seemed too generous for old man Sarutobi to keep Sasuke in here, considering the gravity of his sins. He wasn't this nice usually to traitors.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. I'll be your doctor from now on. Please address me as Mizushima-kun."
She bowed towards the younger boy as she said this then waved the plastic in her grap, "Ah yes, I thought you might like a change from what the dietician usually sends over for breakfast. I bought some freshly cooked tonkatsudon from Ichiraku. Perhaps we can prepare this together and talk as we eat? I would really like to get to know my patient. Then we proceed with the check up. I hope you have no objections to this?"
It would be a lie to say she wasn't feeling a little nervous. Perhaps blush a bit with how the medic tried her best to get the right impression across. The brunette wanted Sasuke to see an ally in here than a hostile, especially since nobody just didn't seem to care.
Not too far from where all of this was happening, a flock of crows with beady red eyes watched in silence, bearing witness in place of their master who observed from a distance.
He was not pleased with this turn of events.
...Sarutobi, we had a deal. I held up my end, why could you not hold up yours.
***
Sasuke shifted and sighed softly. He wasn't too keen on everything though, especially the checkup. The doctor was sure to notice what he attempted to do. That made him a little nervous. What would she say? Would she try to help? Well in the end it didn't matter, he was still suffocating in Konoha. He still wanted his freedom. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted the darkness to stop swallowing him hole. Nonetheless there was nothing he could do about it. He was stuck here. At least Tsunade made it quite comfortable, despite it being a holding facility. Maybe he had to thank Naruto for that one tibit of goodness, before the blond broke off all connection with him. As far as he knew, he was dating the Hyuuga girl. He did pay attention to rumors and information,
Shaking his head, he shifted and stood up. He glanced towards the female medic. He nodded his head. "Yeah. Pleasure miss. You're probably wondering about why huh? Thank the new hokage for it Tsunade. At least the dobe did one last good thing for me." He frowned. He hated thinking about his best friend. Sasuke was sure that bond was the one that would never break. Sadly it did and he was left alone, bondless and friendless. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Biting his lip, he followed the doctor to the table. He sat down and nodded. His onyx eyes lite up a little bit, on what she brought. A soft blush on his checks. That was his favorite. "How did you know? I would like to prepare it." He gave her a soft smile, before he walked towards the kitchen, after getting up again. He couldn't wait. Finally something decent to eat. Sasuke just wasn't looking forward to talking about himself. He never was and he didn't think he ever would
***
That seemed quite legitimate enough, she thought to herself. The Fifth... The woman could be quite benevolent from time to time. Sasuke was, after all, part of the infamous Team Kakashi, whose members had a special place in Tsunade's heart. So it was not that surprising that he would receive some preferential treatment at their behest.
However, according to visitor records... They barely made their appearance at the holding house. Odd.
"I got a tip from someone reliable," Kanon responded with a smile. Her first act of kindness had been received quite well. The two nin entered the kitchen and began to prepare the necessary utensils for their early meal. Cups, bowls and chopsticks were taken out to be washed. Surprisingly there were even some simple yet functional placemats and table runners in the cupboard.
"If you like, I can ask the dietician to consider your favorites to be included in the menu so you can at least enjoy your meals while you're here. Partly why I suggested we talk a bit so we can get to know one another," the medic added as she turned to the younger Uchiha, her smile never fading.
She did however see his lightly bandaged hands at the corner of her eyes, but decided not to pick on the subject. While the jounin highly suspected self harm, somehow she felt she didn't need to instantly send over a psychiatrist. The brunette set up the table and then invites the other over.
Knowing that the Uchihas were not known to be chatterboxes, Kanon suspected that Sasuke was no different in that respect. So she went straight to the point yet tried her best to come off friendly and willing to help. If the brunette remembered right, Itachi once told them how his younger brother was shy and easily embarrassed with people. The elder raven found it quite cute and thus mentioned how it often took a lot of coaxing to get the little one to smile and extend a friendly handshake. Thus, it was imperative for her to make that first step.
First, the medic asked about his living conditions and if he was dealing well: was he comfortable? Did he get bored? Next, questions were directed towards his daily routine: was he able to exercise and do warm ups? Did he eat right? Any daily and sustained vitamins or supplements he might be missing out on? Lastly, about food and preferences that were not yet addressed.
All Sasuke responded were dutifully written down on a note pad she had brought along with her. The jounin's almond brown eyes were on him, her focus and attention on him. She truly wished to make a friend out of the boy.
But how would he react if he remembered her? Somehow, it worried the medic that Sasuke would believe she was only being extra nice since he was her former team mate's younger brother.
Perhaps it was not yet time to reveal their somewhat mutual past...
***
Sasuke nodded his head. He shifted and walked into the kitchen. They started to prepare the meal. He glanced at her, thinking when she brought that up. He nodded his head. "Sure. That would be nice if you passed that along." He fell silent after that. He wasn't much of a talker. Then again all Uchiha's were the same. Expect he was more closed up now. He didn't really have anyone to open up to anymore. They all ditched him like some dirty laundry. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. Maybe it was just karma biting him back in the a**.
When the meal was done, he sat down at the table. He grabbed a seat and started to eat. Shifting a little, he glanced at the her. Sasuke wasn't sure why she was being so nice to him. Heck they barely met. His previous doctor didn't care. So this was strange. Although Sasuke couldn't put his finger on it, but this medic seemed familiar. He just couldn't remember were. He decided not to voice it out,
He answered the questions to his best ability, but he didn't want to reveal too much. Especially on the nasty habit he picked up. He didn't want to let her know, that he was self-harming himself. Sasuke didn't want to see shrink. There was nothing wrong with him. He just felt dead inside and cutting was a way to feel alive, while making up for his sins. Jeeze, he had such a twisted mind, if he thought self-harming was the way to go.
***
Soon enough, breakfast was over. She lead the clean up, putting the used dinner ware in the sink and proceeded to wash them. It was then that Kanon noted the wounds in the boy's hands. Using a much more authoritative tone, she motioned for Sasuke to step aside from washing.
"I'll wash for now. I insist. I'd prefer to get a look on those and see how things are first. Not the greatest idea to wet your bandaged wounds. Hopefully you can stop covering them up and it won't scar, but I'll have to see them first."
Being so close to the Uchiha, the medic confirmed her suspicions that they were indeed vestiges of self-harm. It was not best to pry on the reasons for cutting. Not yet. The jounin felt Sasuke would simply turn her the other ear and refuse to respond to her if she did that. At most, she acknowledged his wounds and existence, that would be enough.
"I read about this on your record. I know what those are." Kanon kept her focus on the dishes she washed and cntinued speaking to the younger raven, "I don't know the what or why but at least trust me enough to see them so we can prevent scarring and possible infection.
But I won't lie that seeing you like this isn't comfortable. You're an Uchiha, Sasuke. You, Uchihas... You aren't the types to put yourselves in situations like this. It's not about pride. It's about self-worth..." She steeled herself and laughed inwardly. This was a slippery slope for all its worth, simply because she was intimate with one Uchiha did not make her an expert on all of them.
"...I'm sorry. I talked too much."
Bent over the sink, the jounin bit her lip and looked outside the kitchen window.
The sun had risen to its perch in the sky, comfortably nestled amidst the big, fluffy clouds of immaculate white. There was no hint of gray or darkness in them at all. A cool breeze descended upon the town of Konoha, rustling the leaves of the trees and grass on the ground. It was an ordinarily beautiful day, like every other.
Then she felt it. Pretty sure Sasuke sensed it too.
And there it was.
A single crow with beady red eyes starring back at her, on a branch parallel to the sink where she stood.
Her former team mate was close by.
***
Sasuke frowned. He pulled away from the sink and nodded his head. He bite his lip. So she did know. Well that wasn't good. Sighing softly, he nodded and grabbed a seat at the table. He watched her and frowned. "I guess you could see them." He mumbled softly. He knew they weren't infected. He had tended them himself and he had some experience in medical jutsus. Shaking his head, he waited for her to finish up and then he could get checked.
He shifted and looked down. He frowned and laid his bandages on the table. He looked away, his dark blue hair covering his face. "I'm simply worth nothing. I'm trapped here, in this place. No freedom. No friends. No bonds. It's the least I can do to make up for my sins." He shifted and frowned. He didn't think he was worth anything. Nobody ever told him otherwise and the darkness was threatening to consume him.
Sasuke stiffened though. He sensed something outside. He frowned and glanced outside the window. His onyx eyes locked with a crow. Sasuke shook his head and shoved that thought from his mind. It was just a crow. He didn't put any significant to it for the time being. There didn't seem to be any in his eyes. Although it seemed his new medic knew something about that crow, but what Sasuke wasn't sure.
***
The jounin sighed as she laid the washed dinner ware on the racks. She was done washing and dried her hands with a had towel, so kindly provided on the rack. "I don't think so. If you weren't of certain importance, you wouldn't be here instead. I believe this holding facility was aimed as possible living quarters for those under protections programs for Konoha, you're one of the very few cases where a suspected felon was placed here."
She felt terrible hearing those words come from him. Indeed Sasuke had changed since those younger, much more innocent days. They sounded so lonely and desperate. It only served to drive that wedge of guilt down her heart. They were the next thing Itachi had as family in the village, why didn't they bother to extend the same love to this boy... It did their friend good, did it not? Kanon mentally slapped herself, Here I go again with my what ifs... It's just not healthy anymore.
The crow snapped her out of her reverie, inching closer towards the kitchen window, as if willing to see better of what laid within. Eventually the brunette locked its eyes with the bird and felt a chill down her spine. Those eyes... She was so sure it was the eyes of her old friend. While she wasn't exactly sure if it was indeed some technique of the elder Uchiha, her gut feel somehow reassured her so. Call it woman's intuition if you will.
They were practically eye to eye now. It's beady red eyes, in distinct Sharingan red, with the swirling wheels. It opened is beak as if to shriek but somehow, instead of the shrill cry that were natural to the bird, the medic heard a human voice speak to her... In her mind at that, was she going mad?
"Fancy meeting you here. You look well, auntie." That old nickname. The hint of laughter in his voice.
She was frozen on the spot. She didn't even realized the crow has switched its focus elsewhere, choosing to turn to the other occupant in the kitchen-dining area.
The crow's eyes lit up, seemingly smiling at Sasuke. It's eyes swirled red for a second, shifting to black then red again.
***
Sasuke frowned and shook his head. He sighed softly and brushed some hair from his face. That didn't make him feel better. He still felt worthless. He still felt like he had no place in this world. If he was so special, then why didn't his so called friends visit him. After everything and after all of the bragging Naruto did about bringing him back. Well here he was and the damn blond didn't want anything to do with him. Then again Sasuke couldn't blame him. He probably broke that trust when he left. He just thought that Naruto would never give up on him. It seems that thought was faulty. Naruto did, just like everyone else.
Sighing softly, he moved his hand up and brushed some hair from his face. His gaze lingered on the table. "If I'm so special, then why am I locked away in here? Why doesn't anyone come visit me? Why did everyone give up on me? Answer me those questions. Then maybe I won't consider myself worthless and unworthy. I made a mistake, it shouldn't hold onto me for life." He glared at the table. Sasuke was made at himself and at his so called friends. If he ever got out of here, well he would turn his back on Konoha and never look back. There was nothing left for him here anymore.
Shaking his head, he sighed softly. He looked up from the table and glanced back at the window. He blinked, the crow was still here. A frown crossed his face. Why did that crow seem familiar? He didn't know, but Sasuke felt himself drawn to the crow. He locked gazes with the crow, wondering what it wanted. If he suddenly disappeared would anyone miss him? Probably not. If they did, they haven't shown it yet.
***
"...I have seen a few caught deserters in my day and trust me, they were not placed in the holding houses at all. Actually, they were held in places that pale in comparison to this... Perhaps out of respect for your friends and teachers... Or even your clan, I don't know. You were placed here."
The jounin had other speculations in mind but she dare not say it. There was something that always told her she was always watched and under observation, ever since the days she was absolutely vocal of her dissent towards the unanimous decisions against Itachi's favor.
What if the Uchiha was placed here as a bait to lure her friend back here? They weren't exactly very private about Sasuke's retrieval, capture and housing. Or someone else? Something...
"As for your friends and teachers... You're not the only one hurting. Everyone is still recuperating from the carnage that had past. They're also dealing with their own pains and perhaps also just as alone as you are. If you want, I can check on them and let them know you'd like them---hmm, no. That would be clear intervention, but yes... I can definitely check on them and let you know how they are."
She nodded to herself, as if to reassure her responses. Those were the best to offer at the moment right? There was some truth in her words, somewhat. Kanon remembered attending to the injured then and it was not a pretty sight. It was quite unnerving to see even the most resilient and joyful of non reduced to a broken mass of bones and bruises, quiet and still on hospital bunks. Had she not been assigned over to Sasuke, she would have been on her toes constantly at the commons area.
"...Itachi," the name had been a soft, nearly inadudible whisper. The medic had not even realized she said the name out right then and there. Her features softened a bit as the crow blinked and turned its head to Sasuke's direction.
I have been well.
The crow... Nodded? Kanon knew she was seeing what she saw but it couldn't escape he thoughts that perhaps she was just imagining, letting her guilt eat at her that she was hallucinating that her former team mate was now a crow.
It didn't do anything more than nod at her, as it's attention was now on the Uchiha who sat at the dining area. Once they were eye to eye, the distinctive red eyes began to swirl and Itachi greeted the boy, with his voice.
"Good morning."
***
Sasuke had spaced out .He was only half aware of what Kanon was saying. At the moment he didn't care. She could do what she wanted. However this crow was interesting, yet familiar. Sasuke just couldn't place his finger on it. Why was he drawn to this crow? What made this crow different from the rest? Sasuke didn't have an idea. He desperately wanted to know, but nothing was coming to mind. He blinked and nodded towards his medic. "Yeah you can do what you want." He fell silent after that.
Sasuke blinked, the crow was just sitting there. It was starring at his medic and himself. Sasuke frowned softly, noticing the crow's eyes changing to red. He blinked, a name biting at the edge of his mind. Sasuke tried to grasp the name. Sadly it filtered out of his mind. He frowned, getting frustrated. Why couldn't he pinpoint that name? Why?! He didn't have an answer though. It was frustrating his young mind to no end.
Then it suddenly clicked into place. His onyx eyes widened in shock as the voice vibrated in his mind. He blinked and quickly stood up. He swayed a little bit. Confused and disoriented as he gazed at the swirling red eyes. Sasuke blinked, feeling dizzy. He gripped the table. "Itachi." He replied in a soft voice, as he fell forward.
***
Captured. Perfect.
As planned.
A smile. He smiled from where he was and inched forward, as his crow hopped closer to the window.
"The one and only. It's been awhile hasn't it, Sasuke?"
Itachi was not too far from where the holding houses lay, in one of the hidden stone caverns that the elder generations of their clan carved out on the mountain slope. It was originally used mostly for storage of the clan treasures and other objects of sensitive nature. However just like the rest of these secret places, they had fallen to ruin thanks to abandonment and lack of maintenance: paper crinkles, food items rot and clothes eventually fall prey to rats and dust mites.
"Ah. So I heard...," the Akatsuki seemed to be referring to the fact he was captured, "You seem comfortable there. I would have expected nothing less of accommodations for you. I see Kanon is the one caring for you. She can be a bit of a nagger and talks much but she means well."
He continued smiling and then chuckled a little.
The guards outside seemed oblivious to what was happening. There was one who wondered why the medic was taking too long however.
***
Sasuke frowned softly. He stepped back. Everything seem warped. He glared at the crow. "What do you want Itachi? There must be a reason why you're here?" He frowned softly. He was feeling overwhelmed. He didn't understand. He couldn't break free from it. Heck it just seemed to apply more pressure onto his shoulders. He shook his head. He frowned softly, something clicking in mind. "Did you trap me in one of your damn genjutus?" Sasuke didn't think he would answer him though. Itachi never answered him anyways.
Although a part of Sasuke was relieved that his brother was alive. They were so close when they were children, before the massacre. He then vowed to kill the raven haired male, but sadly that didn't work. Sasuke found his desire to kill Itachi diminishing. He couldn't fully hate, no matter how much Itachi wanted him to. Sasuke just couldn't do it. He loved his brother, so it felt kind of good in talking with him again.
He frowned softly and shook his head. When Itachi mentioned his new medic, a look of confusion crossed his face. "What does Kanon have to do with anything? How the hell do you even know here?" He then blinked, as things clicked into place. "Wait, she is part of your team isn't she? I should have figured." He crossed his arms across his chest. He wore an annoyed look on his face. What the hell was going on with his life right now?
***
Once in a while, the older Uchiha would forget about all of his plans and where it lead him. But like every other deceitful creature, the man knew how to hide his feelings well with a mask, a false smile and a brand new lie to make everything just fine.
And it was one of those once in a whiles that Itachi did forget and did frown in real life, wondering since when his darling of a little brother learned to speak up to him so boldly. Ah, wait... Right.
"What do I want... What do I want...," He let out a series of hmmm, drawing them out, adding a pinch of mock awe, "I don't know... But whatever I do desire is nothing you can certainly give. My presence here?"
Itachi chuckled, "I have my day offs... Self imposed holidays, if you will. Never wondered why throughout these years our family cemetery remains to pristine despite you being the only apparent visitor?"
A jutsu? This time he laughed inwardly, shaking his head and a smile still on his face. Sasuke, please...
"Foolish ototou, why would I bother dispensing chakra over you when my mere presence is enough? You give yourself too much credit that I would waste such resources," he feigned annoyance and spat the words icily like an insult, though in reality, Itachi was far from annoyed but amused.
Our blood bonds remain strong, little brother. It is perhaps the greatest poison and panacea for all our problems...
"Yes. She was. That woman used to be the our mother away from home and our voice of reason. We had a team mate that had made a hobby of constantly daring me me into competitive bouts, no matter how petty since he refused to accept our clan's superiority."
Now, he was truly annoyed. The long haired Shinobi, closed his eyes, by extension letting his crow do so as well, as he wrinkled his nose and recalled Daichi Kimura. They were of similar height, built and age... Somewhere along the way, the other decided to make a rival out of Itachi and ran his fastest to keep up if not overtake then Uchiha.
"Do you miss me, Sasuke"
Half a slip and half intended to be said, he finally asked the question he had been long to say.
***
Sasuke frowned. "Then why the hell are you here?" He huffed. He crossed his arms across his chest. Then it was just imagination or something. Sighing softly, he brushed some hair from his face. "Then you should leave." He huffed softly. He looked away from his brother. He didn't want to play around with him. He didn't want his brother to see how weak he became. He didn't want to be a disappointment to his brother. He didn't want his brother to know how far he had fallen.
Sighing softly, he shifted his eyes away. He didn't want to keep starring at the damn crow. "You can leave now. You never showed interest in me before, so why start now." He bit his lip and glared at the wall. Shaking his head, he frowned when Itachi mentioned Kanon. He shifted a little. "I don't remember her." He glance back at the crow. Why was his brother still here? He hadn't even answered any of his questions. He just gave him vague answers, that didn't suit him at all.
Shifting a little, Sasuke stiffened, when the male mentioned the last tidbit. He shifted and looked away from him. Did he want to admit to his brother that he missed him? Well he wanted to at least cling on one bond. All his other bonds were destroyed and broken. He nodded softly. He would admit to him. "Maybe I did. But what does that mean to you?" He was aching for the answer, but he didn't want to know at the same time.
***
The former ANBU captain let out an exasperated sigh, "Allow me to repeat myself, I am here on a holiday of my choosing. And do not worry, ototou, I know when it's time for me to depart. Not just yet."
He still had matters to discuss with Danzo.
Itachi was done visiting the family cemetary, that was no lie. He was done speaking to the graves of his parents and letting his composure crack and spill by the drops on the weathered stones. The vases had been cleaned out, replaced with new flowers and incense was heavy in the air.
And of course, he wanted to confirm the rumors. Now that they had been affirmed, the elder Uchiha expressed displeasure and felt a greater urge to make his presence known to the village elder.
"I never showed interest in you? Am I that cold and unfeeling for you?"
It had been awhile since they had spoken beyond a few carefully prepared script and colorful insults, so being able to have today's luxury was definitely something he wanted to enjoy for as long as he could. He shifted on the clan head's marble seat and his expression hardened. If only the boy knew... But no, the chance to have come out in the open and let the boy know had long expired. There was no choice but for the to play the roles of the hated and the hater, cat and mouse.
"Maybe is enough for me. Thank you, ototou."
There was a hint of a warmth, a real smile of sorts in that cryptic response.
Rising from the clan head's seat, he dusted himself as he did and looked upon the clan's carved and painted symbol. It was time to go.
The crow spread it wings at full wingspan and let out its characteristic shriek. Once. It was preparing for flight.
"Perhaps one of these days I can visit you and keep you company. I stil l owe you a thousand and one 'next times'."
He did not wait for an answer from Sasuke. It did not matter. Itachi did not need anyone's permission.
***
Sasuke frowned. His older brother was being cryptic as ever. Did it hurt though to want Itachi to come and rescue him? To take him out of this hellhole. He hated this place. He wanted his freedom back. Sadly that didn't seem possible. He was out of luck and it annoyed him. He lost his chance and now he was trapped in this house under constant watch. He was even self-harming himself to feel worthier then he felt. He just couldn't tell that to Itachi's face. He was terrfied too.
Sasuke walked back to the table and sat down on the chair. "Do what you want. I'm not stopping you." He huffed softly. He refused to voice out his innermost thoughts. He refused to beg Itachi to take him away from him. No he couldn't do that. He had his pride as a Uchiha. So there was no way in hell that he would beg for his brother to rescue him. No he couldn't do that. He won't allow himself that pleasure.
Sighing softly he rested his head on the table. His hand drifted towards his wrist. He scratched at it a little bit. The sleeve slid down a little, revealing his bandaged wrists. They were a little red from blood. He shook his head and sighed softly. He wasn't sure if Itachi could see it. If he did, would the older raven call him out on it? Sasuke hoped not, because if he did. Well he would probably break down and blurt everything out. He still loved his older brother, no matter how much his brother tried to get him to hate him.
***
He was about to summon his crow back to his side when the sight of bandages and fresh blood came to his notice. The elder Uchiha had caught sight of it and thought them to be battle wounds of sorts. But something told him otherwise. Instinctive brotherly instincts kicked in somehow as he ceded to call back his pet.
Besides, Itachi wanted to know just how hospitable were the living conditions for his brother. He was somewhat impressed that he was give preferential treatment. Moreover, the felonous Shinobi found it to his advantage that the boy's medic was no stranger to him. It would serve his purposes. Maybe later he would pay the woman a visit. Te last time, he had seen Kanon was her wedding to her childhood sweetheart. He was partly instrumental of their union, so the Uchiha was pleased to see they had their happy ending.
A happy ending...
When would they have theirs? Would it even be possible?
Eventually, one of those who kept watch went in to retrieve the doctor and escorted her back to the village proper. She didn't even get a chance to look at Sasuke's wounds as intended. Her extended stay was to go on record.
"See you later."
And yet, the crow remained.
***
Sasuke sighed softly. Itachi was gone and an ANBU came and gathered Kanon. He frowned softly. Instantly loneliness washed over him. He shook his head and stood up. The front door closed behind the medic. He instantly heard the soft click of the door being locked. He grumbled softly. Now what was he going to do. Wincing a little, he glanced at his bandages. It seemed that he needed to change them. He didn't pay much attention to the crow, before he left the room.
Not to long after, he walked back into the room and placed a first aid kit down. Sighing softly, he opened it. He was instantly greeted with his sharp tool of choice. He reached over and lightly touched it. Sasuke had placed it in the first aid kit. Nobody would ever think of concealing a weapon in there. He took the blade out and placed it onto the table. It was coated in dried blood. Sasuke had forgotten to clean it. He would need to. He grabbed the bandages and unwrapped his bandages. Wincing a little, he started to clean them and put on fresh bandages. How Sasuke hated being alone, but what could he do? Nobody ever came to visit him.
***
Unlike his younger self, Itachi decided to actually fulfill his promise and one less trespass against his brother. But he chose to stay out of the other's line of vision, seemingly content to just observe.
Settling on the same tree and concealing his chakra well, he beckoned his pet to report to him. He learned many things: the delivery of meals, including an afternoon snack, changing of guards and that those on watch were no ordinary Konoha Shinobi but that from the ANBU. They were under cover as regular run of the mill Shinobi and even as neighbors, who made it seem that the place was more populated that it should be. This was yet another ace on his side since he was more than intimate with their practices.
Hell, it was perhaps under his tenure that the famed secret service earned its renown.
But the most unsettling of what his loyal servant reported was seeing Sasuke take out the cursed blade and cut himself, right where he saw the bandages.
Itachi hissed angrily. What in the world was that boy thinking?!
It was rare for him to break his calm and act on emotion solely but there was...
Already working on breaking in through one of the more inconspicuous of windows and worked his way to the dinner area where no doubt, his younger brother would be having his dinner. He could smell it from where he was.
Not bad.
They actually smelled home made rather than your cafeteria/flavor diluted sort of food. It actually reminded him of the kitchen back home and how he would anticipate in glee for dinner. Those were the days....
Itachi slipped out of his sandals and coat, leaving them at the door like a guest or home dweller would and proceeded to his goal, stealthily. Soon, he was standing right behind his younger brother.
Angrily, he smacked the boy with the back of his hands, bone hitting bone.
"Do you honestly believe that your ritualistic blood letting will help you? Do not make me laugh."
***
Sasuke sighed softly and finished up what he was doing. Then he put everything way and shook his head. He frowned softly. Now the rest of his day went by the same as ever. Nobody visited him and Kanon never really showed up again. Sasuke was trapped in the house and he felt like sufforcating. He hated this feeling. It just never went away. Sighing softly, he brushed some hair from his face. All he did was read and write, that was about it. Sasuke wanted to go out and train so badly, but he was forbidden too. So he was bored out of his freaking mind. God if people showed up, he won't be feeling so damn lonely.
Eventually dinner came to past. He was sitting at his table and picking and poking at his food. He wasn't very hungry at all. He eventually shoved it from his face and settled to rest his head onto the his folded arms. Sadly that didn't work either, when he felt something hard him him. He groaned and grabbed the back of his head. How the hell did he not sense an unknown presence. He growled and whirled around. Only to be startled on who he was seeing.
A look of shock crossed his face. "Itachi? How did you get passed all the damn guards?" He frowned and then stiffened, when Itachi addressed his next question. A look of horror crossed his face, before he washed it away. He glared at him. "That is none of your business Itachi. You have no freaking reason to pry into my life! You stepped out of it, years ago! What makes now any damn different?!" He stood up. He changed his horror into anger. He wasn't going to tell Itachi anything!
***
The Shinobi didn't answer the question. Instead he wore a hint of a smirk as he took a seat across his brother at the dinner table. It has been far too long since Itachi had been at a dinner table, let alone a house whose warmth was still there. Besides, was that even a question? Or even a matter so impossible to do? It was neither, being such a simple task for someone of his calibre.
Once seated, Itachi leaned on the dinner table, as if to join the meal, and briefly scanned the meal his brother just had. It reminded him of his mother's cooking. They were dishes that were not foreign to him at all. They were flavors that his brother preferred. So the medic did manage to get their way into having the cafeteria serve Sasuke's selection. Since when did his former team mate become this persuasive enough?
His eyes were particularly focused on the fruit selection platter that contained three unsliced tomatoes. Somehow that made him chuckle inwardly.
"Tomatoes. Not your usual fruit served at the end of the meal."
And without asking permission, he stole one of the red fruits and sunk his teeth on them, eating in earnest. It was still a mystery to him what Sasuke found in tomatoes. He remembered they used to argue as children whether the tomato was a fruit or a vegetable.
As such, the ravings of his younger brother simply went through the other ear as he continued snacking on the red fruit. Some of the juice dribbled on his wrist and Itachi briefly lapped at it, to save a bit of the juice. The taste was starting to grow on him somehow. Sigh, did Sasuke really have to shout at him? This was beginning to feel like how mother would lecture him right after father would for some unknown failure or unme expectation.
Once the dust had settled, he briefly closed his eyes in comtemplation, to compose himself before speaking again.
"Let me ask you, Sasuke. If indeed I am of no importance to you, then why do I continue to plague your thoughts and command your actions, without me even a lifting so much a finger?"
***
Sasuke huffed softly. His brother was annoying as ever. It decided to just glare at him. His glared iced over when Itachi ate one of his tomato slices. Huffing softly, he snatched the plate from his brother and pulled it close. He took another slide and munched on it. He refused to answer him though. How dare his brother steal one of his favorite foods. He did love tomatoes. He shifted and looked away from the older Uchiha and munched on the rest of his fruit. He still didn't want his brother around. His brother clearly made sure that the younger raven would hate him. Like that would ever happen/
Shaking his head, he finished off his treat. "When are you going to leave? You have overstayed your welcome." He refused to break under Itachi. He refused to give the older raven the satisfaction of seeing him cower. He won't give his brother anything. Instead he stood up and pushed the chair from behind him. He walked away from the kitchen. He plopped down onto the couch and grabbed a scroll. He started to read it, plainly ignoring his brother's presence.
***
Still arrogant as ever.
Like that would change.
It felt strange seeing his brother's retreating back when it had been the other way around not so long ago. Life was being funny, Itachi supposed. He continued to partake in the snack in his hands and once it was finished, the man went to the sink to wash his hands and then quietly pushed back the chair he sat on.
The older Uchiha turned to Sasuke's voice. Oh, really now. So now the boy wanted him gone. Now did he truly...?
A devil of an idea took root in his mind.
After his business at the kitchen, he made his way to the entrance and made sure to purposely pass the boy, so as to even softly nudge him with his flaring chakra and inform him he was passing by. Once there, the former ANBU squatted to slip on his sandals and took his coat from the rack.
"Sasuke, have you ever tried sparring inside a genjutsu?", he asked while he prepared to leave.
***
Sasuke huffed. He was trying to ignore his brother. Sadly it wasn't working. Itachi was making it near impossible to ignore his presence. Shaking his head. He was trying so hard to focus on the scroll in his hands. Sadly it wasn't working at all. He couldn't dislodge Itachi from his mind. He frowned softly. Seriously was his brother going to be leaving anytime soon. It didn't seem like it. Why was Itachi even here? He never showed interest in him before. Not since he left, after killing his family. So why now? Apparently he was watching him and against him cutting himself. Why did he even care?
He was going to continue to ignore him, but Itachi asked an interesting question. He perked up. He could never pass training with his brother. He loved to do it when he was a child. However he was kind of excited at the same time. "No I haven't." He stood up and watched his brother put on his shoes and coat to leave. He was about to join him, before something clicked in his mind. He frowned. 'I can't. I'm not allowed. Rules. I can't even leave or train without being constantly watched. Although training is kind of forbidden right now." He sighed softly. He wanted to train with Itachi so badly. He was just trying to keep an detached outlook and not show his brother, how interested he was in training with him.
***
That would make sense. Not to be allowed to train... They were probably making precautions against esape and its possible potential.But that would be akin to asking fire not to dance and crackle with warmth. Sasuke was a Shinobi for crying out loud. Whether he liked it or or, his body would be longing for the daily exercise regimen of target practice, spell casting and the like.
Itachi folded his arms and nodded softly, "Fair enough. I do commend your honesty to comply so obediently. What a cute ototou I have."
Seemingly patronizing, the man was actually amused by the realization as he ruffled his brother's hair. One of his lazier, helpless smiles---like those he shared with his munchkin sized Sasuke.
The n he poked his brother's forehead.
"Sorry, Sasuke. Maybe next time. I wouldn't want to further lure you down a rebel's path than I already have."
***
Sasuke glared at him. He smacked his brother;s hand away from his hair. "Don't do that." He glared. He sunk down onto the couch and crossed his arms across his chest. He frowned softly. He was already longing to train. He wanted to train so badly. It would allow him to get out of this damn suffocating place. Sadly that wasn't possible and the young raven hated it. He hated being stuck in here, with nothing to do. It was like a prison, which in reality it was. Sighing softly, he sunk down onto the couch. He just wanted to get out. He just wanted his freedom. Sadly that wasn't possible.
He shifted a little and plopped down on the couch. "Yeah restrictions. Stupid restrictions. I just want my freedom back. I hate being caged in here like some freaking animal. I can't go anywhere. I didn't even want to come back." He frowned and grabbed a pillow. He pulled it towards his chest and laid down on it. He just wanted out. Why couldn't get get out? Why did he have to suffer through this? What did he do to deserve this?
***
Itachi let out a deep sigh and then shook his head. It was undeniable. While he had a hold over the boy's thoughts and aims, Sasuke also possessed just as much a powerful hold over the rogue Uchiha. His younger brother remained his greatest weakness. He could feel himself go soft on him after hearing that. Tolerance for such hurt right in front of him could only go so far.
"Very well."
The Shinobi sat down on the porch and had a moment of silence.
"Shisui and I uses to do this before. It was how we trained our use of our eyes. We has to time this properly so we could enter an imaginary field from both mine and Shisui's creation. Once inside, we would spar with practically no limitations as our bodies in the real world, were in a state of meditative thought."
They had vowed to keep their technique a secret. Not a soul would know.
Surely Shisui wouldn't mind now? It was for Sasuke.
Once again, Itachi slipped out of his sandals and coat. He made his way towards Sasuke, choosing to sit across him than beside him.
"Maintenance of the field is similar to meditation. Focus, steady breathing and the use of the mind's eyes. It also doesn't require plenty of chakra so you won't irk the suspicions of those surrounding you."
***
Sasuke sat up. He frowned as he heard what his brother was suggesting. He shifted. It sounded cool and all, but it just wasn't the same. He wanted to go outside and train. He wanted to sweat and he wanted to know his limitations. He wanted to push pass them and he wanted his body to feel the born. Doing it in the mind wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as getting out there and breathing the fresh air. He fully test his capabilities. He just wanted to leave this damn village and never look back. Nobody would miss him. Just like nobody checked on him, when he almost tried to take his own life. He won't say that to Itachi. His brother wouldn't be pleased about. Sasuke still wasn't sure how saved him that day though.
Drifting from his thoughts, he looked away from Itachi. "It's not the same Itachi. It's not the same as being outside and training until your body gives out. He doesn't let me know anything!" He crossed his arms across his chest, before he pulled his knees to his chest. He hated it here. He hated being trapped in this damn village, being constantly watched. Why was he forced back? Why the hell did the dobe bring him back, when he wanted nothing to do with him? As did the rest of his friends. He shifted, he could feel the call of the blade. He just wanted to cut a little, but he didn't want to risk it with Itachi here.
Bringing his other hand down, he scratched the bandages a little. His mind zoned out temporarily. "I don't even know how saved me that day? The day where I thought death would come. I was so sure that I'll finally be free. Next time I woke up, I was laying in bed with my wrists bandaged. I never saw that person. I never tried it again either." He frowned softly and rubbed his wrists lightly. He had two really deep scars on his wrists. Sasuke just couldn't take it and tried to end his life. He almost succeeded, but he didn't. Somebody saved him and that was when he reconsidered ending his life.
***
He had a point. The man could only imagine the torture that was, they were both born fighters. And the lack of anything else to do while in captivity wasn't helping things either.
Upon seeing the other began to pick at the closed up wounds and bandages, he instincts told him it was the tell tale signs of self harm bubbling up. It made him angry and worried all at once. Why in the world did people do such things... Pain was never the solution to conflict and war. Even more so on a personal basis, such as one's emotions.
Itachi grasped his brother's wrist. "I know what you're thinking, planning... Don't do it anymore."
He ignored his brother's ramblings, deciding that anonymity would be best for now. How many more times did he had to see Sasuke do this to himself, be miserable... This was not his intention at all.
I made a mistake and allowed you to grow in hatred, hoping it would make you, us strong. But we are different, you and I... You cannot flourish in hate, like I had...
Whether the teenager liked it or not, the Shinobi used his strength to his advantage, pulling him into an embrace, protectively encircling the other with his own body. He cared not for the magazines that went into disarray or the fallen vase and it's faux flowers. There were far more important matters here.
He was cooing into his brother's ears, like he used to do for him when it rained and the child still feared the thunder claps of ensuing rain. It was a soft whisper of a chant, that eventually drawled out into a desperate seeming plea. Only this time, it seemed that Itachi was the one who was afraid and not the other.
"Sasuke, stop."
This will not make you strong. It will only make you weak.
***
Sasuke shook his head. He frowned as he mumbled away. His onyx eyes widened in shock as the older raven grabbed his wrists. He tugged and pulled against the grip weakly. "Let go! It makes me feel alive. It helps me redeem myself from my sins! Let go!" He struggled and tugged. He didn't want his brother here. He didn't want his brother to know. He didn't want him to tell him what to do. "LET GO! YOU'RE WEREN'T HERE BEFORE! YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He shouted and pulled. He was struggling hard against Itachi.
He then felt himself pulled into Itachi's arm. He stiffened as the raven wrapped his arms around him. He felt tears sprang to his eyes. He hadn't be held like this for so long. He missed the feeling. He clung to his brother's shirt crying softly. "It helps make it go away. It helps! It helps!" He pushed closer to him. He wanted the comfort. He wanted it for so long. Someone to comfort him, someone to be there for him. He wanted that closure in so long.
***
He didn't let go.
He didn't respond either.
If anything, Itachi found himself tightening his grip, the sort that didn't hurt however, and closing in more of the distance between them. Something told him that he needed this warmth and distance as much as Sasuke did, this was something he had not obliged himself with for so long. They both needed this, needed one another.
Eventually, the older brother fell quiet and let the sound of their ragged breathing, Sasuke's quiet sobs and the sound of the night time forest in the background.
He loosened his grip, lifting the boy's chin up so they could see eye to eye. Gods, it was very difficult looking into the other's tear soaked face, in such a sorrowful expression...
Don't look at me like that.
Those who proclaimed that Itachi was made of stone were absolutely wrong. Rather, the man had near godly discipline and will power. And that vision before him was very trying on said discipline and will power.
The elder raven smiled, even when his insides were crumbling, before planting a kiss on his brother's forehead and held him close again.
"I'm here now. "
***
Sasuke sniffed and cried softly. His small body shaking with sobs as he cried. He was upset. He was lonely. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be away from Konoha. Away from the prison they placed him in. He wanted to be out there in the wild. Exploring the lands and testing out his new abilities. He wanted his brother to be really here. He didn't want this to be a dream. He didn't want this to be all in his mind. That he was safely asleep. No he wanted to relish in this dream forever. It felt too surreal to be real. Sasuke couldn't grasp it. He needed this warmth. He needed it so badly, but nobody gave it to him before. So was this all real?
He felt his face being lifted up. His watery onyx eyes glancing at Itachi. He was a Uchiha and Uchihas' weren't suppose to be so emotional. Then he remembered. He was more like his mother. He always seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. He was always emotional and he still got scared with thunderstorms. He could never leave up to his father's exceptions. He couldn't be the perfect son. The perfect Uchiha that his brother was. He would never have that strong discipline and will power. Sure he could wear an emotionless mask, but he was constantly breaking behind it and nobody noticed.
Sniffing softly. He looked away. He still didn't believe this. "For how long? How long will you stay for?" He pushed closer to Itachi, soaking into that warmth. He was starting to feel sleepy. The warmth was soothing. 'Take me away from him. Take me away from this hellhole." He replied softly. "I want to leave. I want freedom. Please take me away." He pleaded softly, before he closed his tired onyx eyes. His breathing softened, as he fell into a light slumber, soaking in the warmth and comfort he always craved.
***
The Uchiha mused for a while, before giving out a response, "I don't know. For as long as I can? I have my hands tied elsewhere still after all. I can't be gone for too long. But what's important is here, I am here now."
As far as he could remember, there were no assignments under his name and Kisame's for the week. If he was lucky, Tobi wouldn't pull anything funny on him and send him off for some reason. So the Akatsuki had plenty windows of opportunity to visit and keep his brother company.
But...
"Take me away from this hellhole."
Itachi blinked at the declaration. He thought he was hearing things. Apparently his ears were not deceiving him. Sasuke was asking, more like begging him to actually take him away from Konoha. He was thrown off course, confusion reflected on his face as he tried to take in what his brother just asked of him.
No. I will not allow this foolishness.
"Sasuke, do you know what you're saying?"
Easing out of the embrace, he gripped his sibling at the sides firmly, careful not to bruise and ever so worried what if there were cuts on his arms. Itachi took great care not to apply much pressure, least he be hurting his brother.
"That can be easily arranged. But if you leave now, you will never be able to redeem yourself. And where would you go after that? Consider your plans more in detail... Do not be so impulsive, ototou."
***
Sasuke jerked awake though, when he felt his brother pulling him away from him/. A look of surprise crossed his face. He frowned softly as he heard his brother's declaration. He felt anger spiking through him. The sleepiness from before was fading away. He glared at him icily. His brother didn't understand. What was there here for him?! Nothing! All this place carried was broken bonds and horrible memories. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be locked away to await his death.
Instead he jerked his arms away from him. He stood up and clenched his fists. He shoved the older raven to the couch, huffing softly. "Do you know what's here Itachi?" He spat at him. "Bad memories and broken bonds! There is nothing for me here! Nobody comes to see me. Nobody gives a damn. The only company I get is my freaking guards and the medic. That's it! There is nothing else here?! Nothing for me! It was better away from Konoha. Freedom. I didn't have to follow restrictions. I was actually free! I don't have any friends! They all ditched me when I came back! It's been almost a year Itachi and nobody ever comes! They won't ever!" He spat and stormed away from the living room. He headed straight to his room. He slammed the door shut and locked it, before collapsing on the bed. He could feel that darkness coursing through him. He wanted to cut. He wanted to release it.
***
So this is how it felt.
He dusted himself as he pushed himself back on his feet and let Sasuke go.
It hurt. A lot.
The physical pain was negligible. Would surely come to pass. But the feeling of being rejected and thrown aside would never so. It never crossed the long haired nin's mind that this would ever appen. He dreamt of it, once or twice, foresaw it in his mind's eye; but none of such imaginary scenarios had, would ever prepare him for the pain that followed through.
Itachi remained unchanged, stoic and a vision of calm. Only his dark eyes betrayed his expression, reflecting a turbulence of emotions. There were so many things running through his mind: plans, successive measures and countermeasures.
Had it been that long? He failed to take track of the days... The months that had come to pass.
He trailed after Sasuke, following him to his bedroom and stood outside, as if keeping vigil. At what had transpired, there was little chance the boy wouldn't resort to cutting again. Being there, as if anticipating it felt masochistic, on his part. But he wished otherwise.
I can't...
I am not that heartless.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke."
***
Sasuke curled up on his bed. He was sniffing softly. He hated it. He wanted Itachi to take him away, but the older raven refused. What was here for him in Konoha? Nothing. The only bond he seemed to cling onto was the bond he had with his brother. It was fragile, but it refused to break. He clung onto it. Being so close to Itachi initiated a warmth, that he had forgotten. A warmth he always craved for, a warmth he wanted so badly. He wanted to feel like he belonged again. He didn't want to be an outcast, a traitor. Sure he made some bad decisions, but that shouldn't justify anything. He had more the once repented for his sins. Those horrible memories that circled around his mind in his nightmares.
Curling up, he pulled the covers over him. He heard what Itachi said. He wanted to relieve some of the tension built up inside of him. He wanted to see his blood spill. He shook his head, no he couldn't, but it was so tempting. He shifted, unsure if he wanted to answer him. Then words spilled from his mouth. Words he wasn't even aware of. "If you're so sorry, then why don't you make it up? Why don't you take me away from here!? Nobody cares anymore. The only bond I seem to carry is yours." He fell silent. The calling beckoning to him. He sat up and leaned over. He opened his draw and pulled out a blade. Could he really do this?
***
A storm raged inside Itachi as his predominantly logical side argued bitterly, violently against his emotions, the latter seemingly winning against his better judgment. There was a part of him that still wished to honor the deal between himself and the elders of the village, despite all that had come to pass. Deep inside his heart, there was still love for Konoha that persisted. That this sacrifice would bear fruit and everything would be fine then after: the revival of the ten tails would be halted, Tobi's plan would fail and a normal life awaited himself and Sasuke. Honors and titles were not important by then. All he wanted was for that peaceful existence, the very one he swore to uphold and make real no matter the costs as he clutched his baby brother that fateful day.
But why did the chances seam bleak all of a sudden?
How come the light at the end of the tunnel grew dimmer by the days?
The Shinobi had days he was tired. He also had days he was weak and powerless, his prized discipline slipping past his fingertips. There was times the man felt like it was not worth the pain, the effort and toils anymore.
Slamming his first against the door frame, the older Uchiha growled low in this throat, growing frustrated with it all. Tears, angry and forceful, threatened to escape his darkened pools. It was not everyday he was forced to confront his emotions.
He often presented himself the king on the shogi board, calculating and manipulative as he drove people across the board. He even made a pawn out of Sasuke, involving him in a dangerous game of war and under the table politics. In reality, Itachi was barely the master of his actions, bound to an empty promise of a better life and a one-side love.
Wait.
He stopped himself.
Did he just...
Itachi pulled away and stared very quietly at the door. Reaching into his pocket, he held the blade he confiscated from his brother not too long ago and then returned to look at the door.
He smiled.
Sorrowfully.
Ah, yes. That feeling. How did it not come to his notice how his once brotherly affections had evolved into a different creature of love altogether?
"Even if we left, I have no future to offer you... There is no future for you and I if we go now."
How long has he been harboring these feelings... The man could not remember anymore. But it was an existence Itachi did not want to acknowledge. Not now, not ever. Should he act on them, only the gods knew what how..
***
Sasuke jumped startled, when there was a loud bang at his door. He frowned, the blade still clutched tightly in his hands. What the hell was up with Itachi? Why did he slam his door. Shaking his head, he turned back to blade in his hand. He frowned softly and lightly touched it. It glinted in the light. He could feel his emotions spilling over him. He wanted to release some of his pent up emotions. However Sasuke was a Uchiha and he would never vocally voiced them out. No he always kept his emotions in tact under an emotionless mask. It seemed the only one to draw out any of his hidden emotions was Naruto and Itachi, but the blond didn't care anymore. They were suppose to be best friends, but he threw him aside once they came back to Konoha. Shaking his head, he shoved those thoughts from his mind. He didn't want to deal with this, he wasn't ready, but why did the bond with Itachi still linger?
At first Sasuke would deny what his mind was saying, but over time he learned to accept his latent feelings. He learned why he clung so tightly to his brother. He didn't hate him. He couldn't hate him. He tried, but he just couldn't. Maybe because he knew that he harbored a deep love for him. His one constant thing in his life, when he was younger before the massacre. Itachi was always there for him, when his dad looked down on him and never acknowledged him. When his mother was too busy to tend to him. He blinked back tears, but he shoved those aside. He won't cry. He cried enough for today.
He glanced up at the door, the blade hovering over his arms. He was so tempted to cut. He blinked as Itachi responded. He bit his lip and frowned softly. "Maybe but we can create our own future. At least we would be together. Maybe in some remote village where no one knows us. We can be happy and together. Away from everything." He looked back at the blade. He wanted to do it. He wanted to cut, but something was preventing him from doing it at the moment. Instead he just starred at the blade and waited.
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