So many things that have happened lately don't even seem to be real. A year ago, everyone was happy and not worried so much. But since May of last year, everything seems to have gone downhill slowly. My longest relationship began slipping, finally ending in July, which threw me into a self destructive state of which I still haven't come out, I met someone else who turned out to be so controlling and borderline verbally abusive, and I met up with my very first love from elementary school and when I had gotten used to his company, he used me and left for someone else, not to mention the fact that he has a kid he never told me about. But it's not just me who's having a hard time. My dear friend, an ex, lost his dad early January in an accident and it still hasn't really sunk in for me yet. It just seems so damn surreal and I'm so angry and upset. Hell, I'm not even sure why it's bothering me as much as it is. I'm just so mad that his death happened, not only because of the obvious reasons, but because it tore his family apart. His sons have separated, his wife and newborn baby have to be doing so terribly, and I'm just so frustrated things happened that way. I want desperately to turn back time before it all happened and get him off that road somehow and avert this whole disaster. Or at least have it not be fatal. When I woke up this morning, it was still dark and quiet in the house and I got to thinking about my friend's dad, and I couldn't help but ask, "Why? Why were you at that place at that time?" I love his oldest son with all my heart and all I ever wanted was for him to be happy, even if I'm not the one to bring it. But honestly, I don't know how his family will be happy again for a very long time. Three kids all under twenty years old and they haven't even begun to experience their lives. They need their dad and he's not there for them physically. I know he's by them all the time, watching them and being witness to all their success, but that's not the reassurance they need. They shouldn't have lost him so soon. I'm so angry because there's nothing I can do for his family. There's absolutely nothing I can say or do and it hurts me more than anything. Not to mention, my friend lost his grandfather August of last year and not his grandmother has cancer. This family needs a break and I'm not sure why God or whomever isn't giving them one. I'm begging, actually begging, for something good to happen for them. They need it so desperately. If the way the world works is for every death, a life is given, these children better be ******** worth it.