------I've been working on a new song. I call it the Freedom of the Sol. Its based of the Space song I created last year with my friends for a class. But I also wanted to incorporate this feeling of liberation, this feeling of freedom. Not in the patriotic 'murica perspective, but in the spiritual perspective. I'm legally a christian, specifically roman catholic, but I don't know if I am one though. I don't really believe that a god exist and not really a hardcore bible believer, but I also don't really consider myself an atheist. I don't really know what I am, but I believe in the individual. I put my faith on people instead, believing that everyone has potential in them that they are able to reach with willpower. This potential however, is limited to how high they envision themselves to be, and how high other people see that potential. I know its weird, and a lot of it is conceptual, but its more real to me.
------I bought this up because as of late I felt helpless, and lacked motivation. I lost willpower and I collapsed, and regressed into an empty void. In that emptiness, in that darkness I felt as if I had lost my way. I lost any desire to do anything. Even playing guitar which I love to do, felt empty and didn't give me a satisfaction and joy. I was able to pull myself up with the help of my friends, because they saw the potential that I could reach despite the fact that I'm at the darkest sh*t-hole of my subconsciousness, where suicide is a viable thing.
------November twenty-eighth, twenty thirteen, I placed a gun in my mouth, with a single bullet inside. I'm happy it didn't go off. Because right now I feel like I'm at my highest potential. I created a new system mentally for myself; to rid of these negative thoughts and feelings, to help me develop new positive habits to change my work ethic, and lastly to face my fears and shames that inhibit me to try out new things.
------With this song, Freedom of the Sol. I want to create a new genre of music. It's mostly instrumental-progressive metal, (djent, for those other people), but a speech or a story is spoken instead. Kinda like Northlane's Singularity (Look it up, its amazing), except with a Polyphia (look them up too) like instrumental feel to it. Its weird...
------I wanted to write more, about willpower and my personal shames and fears, and overcoming them. However I have to prepare for my class. I guess we can talk more later.
Thanks for reading, This is Anikacy Signing out!
(Also feel free to comment, insight is always helpful <3)
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