Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Lately love have been my greatest frustration. I suppose those who want love the most never find it. But if that's true, isn't that just cruel? I wish I were like the majority of people and could walk of the people I'm interested in, but in the end, I'll never be like that. I feel betrayed by love and who the world sends to love me. I see a running trend of controlling manipulators, and the only person who doesn't fit is someone I can never be with. After a while you wonder if you're ever meant to be happy. Most of my concept of happiness is drawn from this idea that I deserve to be in love, but as this idea seems to fade away, I lose my concept of happiness. I'm tired of caring so much. I really am, especially when I get nothing in return. And if I'm someone who doesn't deserve love, so ******** be it. That's my life I guess, as miserable as it is to think of. But ******** it. What's love anyway? Mental stimulation? It's no more than the pain and sadness I ignore. Why want love? It's but a state of mind, useless.