Written Sep 2011.

Now I realize, as I write this with tears flowing, how selfish I truly am. Wanting to be loved, not considering others. How shameless of me. All I've ever felt is loniless and the inexorable need for attention. Tossed asside and ignored like trash. All I ever wanted is to be recognized, to be complimented, congratulated. Everything I've done, everything I do, none of it is praise worthy. I know that love takes two yet I want to be loved. I want someone who will sincerely recognize my efforts, compliment my being, congratulate my achievements. Someone to share with me the good and the bad. But now I know how shameless this is and how selfish I am. To think that anyone could possibly do any of those things, let alone love me. To think that I could want something I'm underserving of, unworthy for. How silly, how stupid, how pitiful.