Everyone is in search of that special something that gives you meaning and passion in life. That something that drives your motivation and ambitions towards fruition. Everytime I briefly get to experience that light so warm and inviting. I think to myself. Yeah, this is a good reason to live. This is my purpose to better myself. This is why I should stride towards self improvement. But it's at the apex of this wonderful moment that it gets taken away from me. As if life is playing a cruel game of keep away, a demented tease. I reach out for it once more and I can't grasp it. It fades into darkness as I chase after it. Surrounded by pitch black I'm left with only the memories of the good times. The feeling of having a reason to try so hard and never give up. In this darkness darker than space. I start to wonder about it all, the typical meaning of life. Will it someday return to me? If so when? Will I have to keep dreading on alone with the cold. Wondering in darkness, as if being blind. I start to imagine the surroundings as if it were an empty canvas, a black canvas. That's when my imagination soars like a hawk. Conjuring wild images and thoughts never done before. The things I see with my mind's eye are crazy. Has being here too long driven me crazy? I'm enjoying more and more being with myself. Talking to myself. Being by myself. Enjoying my own company. I'm my own best friend and my own worst enemy.