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Stupid

God! Why did I let it all go?! I had it all! I had you and you matter to me... I should have never done what I have did... What did I do? I lied and broke the trust that I just began to rebuild with you. Why did I do it...?

I was weak. It was easy. It didn't seem like anyone would ever find out... But I was so wrong... I should have kept true to my feelings for you but I didn't. I wish I had stayed strong but I didn't...

I'm so stupid... I keep thinking, 'I can fix things' but I can't. I caused all this pain and suffering... how could I make you smile again? How could I call you my Love if I couldn't even wait for you..?

God! I wish I could just fix this all... I wish I could just slap my younger self... Keep that harlot out my bed and my house... Telling my younger self to listen to you.. What you want, What you feel..

I'm sorry I'm so stupid... I know I'm a huge burden... But... I swear if you would... Just... one... more time...