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Just Let Me Get This Out
This journal is just part of the enter workings of my brain. Sometimes a human needs a healthy release and I think this just might be it!
Is There Such Thing as Inner Clarity?
I use to be a peaceful person. Always looking for the best in people. I was chipper, and always trying to make people laugh. Then one day it was like I just woke up from a wonderful dream and became this bitter asshole. I can't even stand myself half the time, and I try so, sometimes too, hard to please and impress people. I had my mind set, and dreams that would blow your socks off. I only say these things because early today, I actually started to dream the way I used to.

Before my dreams were to live in New York City, own a restaurant, live in a bad ass loft, and live life MY way. But I realized that wouldn't happen.

So then I met Matt. We've built a dream together. We plan to move to Northern California with my brother, and build our lives how ever we please.

But anyways, back to the point. I used to be super happy and cheerful and I had NO WORRIES. These days I am FULL of WORRIES. I hate worrying. I hate stress, I hate to hate, but I hate anyways. How hateful sad .

Money stresses me out like no other. I'm currently supporting Matt and myself, along with out fur babies. We are both college students, he goes online and baby sits our RM's kids so we don't have to pay rent. I endure a one hundred mile round trip three days a week, plus work part time in a deli. Although rent is covered, I still hardly afford our other bills, especially gas. People ride my ass about him not working, but when one's car is broke down, how many options does one really have?

My coworkers never let me live down the fact that he doesn't work. But honestly, what business is it of there's? It's not like they are perfect... And they can't even begin to judge me and my PRIVATE relationship without stepping back and taking a good look at themselves. People these days...

People... I think that is why I am so irritated all the time. Between work, school, and my roommates new, loud family, I can't get ANY peace of mind. It's inevitable.

I'm screwed.

Winnie Belle
Community Member
  • [01/17/14 05:44am]
  • [01/11/14 12:16am]
  • [01/10/14 10:08pm]

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