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This is the story of my life. Maybe it will be a rewarding experience to share with the world that which I experience.
When you listen to a song while hanging out with your friends and you, excited and elated, share it with them it creates an illusion in which you are enthused and willing to wonder them. They might not care. Then if you play the song at a party again they will associate it with you. When they hear it away from you they will remember you. The song becomes a part of you. Even when you do not listen to it for months, when you finally do, your friends will get sick of it because for them you have played it too much. The truth is that you have not. Those were chances that were filed in them.

I thought that everything is just events with possibilities stretching in every direction. Sadly we cannot rewind life and try another option. We cannot just sit around and wait for a perfectly studied strategy to proceed either. We must be careful to a certain level too because if we are too adventurous we become reckless and if we sit around and do nothing then life passes by unannounced. That is definitely not what we want.

I thought of my past self today. I remembered all those stupid things I used to do, and that I still do, but they make me a better person when I learn from them. Those stupid things from my past are lessons; though I sometimes thing back and regret and feel shame, I cannot take them back. I must move on and read them as lessons. The only thing that truly affects me is that people see each and every one of our lives as a compilation. If we were bad, we will forever be bad in their eyes. If you were immature before and they have not seen you in a long time they will still think of you as that naive child. I think maybe we should protect ourselves. Maybe we should let it slip. Can we create a wall without hardening ourselves? Without shutting down opportunities for new social experiences? That is the question.

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