Kay..so..let's see how much I can get off my chest.
I'm a hopeless romantic..and when I say "hopeless", I mean HOPELESS!
Its so infuriating, how much its true. I've had girls tell me, if you were a guy, you'd be such a gentlemen. I don't get it. And guys tell me I'm cheesy..or that I know what I'm talking about. Inevitably, I'm a go-to for advice. Its not entirely a bad thing.
But, it does remind me of how alone I am. Yeah, sure, there's people all around me and people that care, but there's still something missing. No matter what I feel alone. And I know other people can feel like that too. But I've been alone for way too long. And I've felt this way since I was a kid.
You know what, I think I've said this before.
Okay, so I'm lonely.
What else is there?
I'm stupid..but that's just an opinion on how I am. I'm smart, but I'm also stupid. Maybe its my self-confidence that's stupid.
OH! I got one!
I'm desperate!
Yep..should I leave it at that?
I'm too nice, for my own good.
I have anger problems, but only my family and close friends know it.
I'm misanthropic, but I'm not rude about it. In fact, most people couldn't guess or even realize it.
I hate attention but want it from time to time.
I destroy my own self esteem.
And what I really want to do in life isn't what I'm studying for, which is still something I want to do.
If I'm alone most of the time, it must be because I want to..right? But I also have issues with commitment. Any kinds of commitment. I've never felt super sure about anything, except for myself.
I'm not a liar.
I'm a patient person, despite what my mom thinks.
I don't forget many things.
I have a good memory.
That's a good thing and a bad thing.
I have no regrets.
I look forward to the future, but only because of my own expectations.
That being said, I set the bar way too high. Meaning, I'm often disappointed.
I always have hope. I hang onto it. No matter what happens to me.
Maybe that's what ultimately leads me to being alone, disappointed, and mad.
I don't let that stop me.
Soo...I've let out a bit. I feel better..ish.
Ish..
I don't know..
I don't ask for much, but I suppose I do want too much.
For now, I'll escape to my dreams, where I can do what I want, fabricate reality, lucid dreaming...and yet, there's something missing there too.
Some things are just hopeless. But I still hold onto it.
Arctic Monkeys- I Want It All
Blind faith
Heartache
Mind games
Mistakes
My sweet fireball
My sweet rigmarole
I want it all
I want it all
Old dogs
New tricks
Can you feel it?
Space age country girl
Stone cold miracle
I want it all
I want it all
And then suddenly it hit me it's a year ago
Since I drank miniature whiskey and we shared your coke
Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road
Leave me listening to the stones
2000 light years from home
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
Blind faith
Heartache
Mind games
Mistakes
My sweet fireball
My sweet rigmarole
I want it all
I want it all
Old dogs
New tricks
Can you feel it?
Space age country girl
Stone cold miracle
I want it all
I want it all
And then suddenly it hit me it's a year ago
Since I drank miniature whiskey and we shared your coke
Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road
Leave me listening to the stones
2000 light years from home
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
Shoo-wop, shoo-wop
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
I want it all
