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M and I. We're like emotion_hug this.

So all she wants in life is a best friend, i'm not always there for her and we're not really best friends, we're like "brothers, we're there, we fight, we stay.

Anywho... she just found a best friend, last year, and just talked to him every day since then. They live from both ends of California, so they just talk about what they did, how they feel, and other s**t. Apparently they got very close, being the shoulder to lean on first after a breakup or a death. But now it's them who broke up, and she doesn't want to talk about it. She just gave me this leather journal. And Christ.

There was sketches of tree houses and a boy who only had eyes, and lots of entries of things that happened throughout the year. The last page was dated 11-12-13 and all it said was "Stay quiet, be the girl that everyone knows." The page was minimally soiled with dried blood, and the paper is so weird that I could see the tears. Obviously she had a breakdown, and this is why i'm so concerned. She was seriously at her best mood when I saw her, laughing and pulling jokes, never stopped smiling.

Damn. She's tough. To act like that when I saw her arms and the blood on the page. The day after. And a lot of s**t happened yesterday too. This guy she used to like... kissed her on a dare. She made sea-salt ice cream (kingdom hearts) for all her friends, but nobody really wanted it. And then she was supposed to exchange a shirt for six bottles of Ramune that she carried all day yesterday, the kid wasn't there, today... the guy didn't have the shirt. And she's really impacted by the typhoon news, since she has family in the Philippines, and the sight of dead dogs on the street just got her. And lastly... her best friend decided he was done listening to her.

I couldn't look away today, I seriously want the best for her. For all her generosity, pain, and strength, that hasn't any merit or reward. The only thing she's holding onto is karma. Like.. she was almost gone yesterday. But karma is the last thing keeping her tied from going insane.

And then I got problems too.

How.. do you date an asexual man who is legitimate perfect for you?

Like.. ugghhh.