I'm alone and I like it.
But I don't wanna be.
I'm trapped at the crossroads.
Jessie and Charles keep trying to get me out.
I keep making reasons to stay my room.
My family is usually out doing stuff.
Pros and Cons.
There aren't many.
I'm a piece of s**t.
And the self-loathing begins.
Or I guess it begins to show.
I keep making misspellings and it's making me want to stop doing this.
I don't even do this as much.
Let alone actually writing things.
I actually left my house at like two p.m. after I awoke today to meet Jason.
He wasn't ******** there.
Words cannot begin to describe how angry I was.
He ******** made me leave.
Just to ******** stand me the ******** up!
Lack of speaking has lead to me thinking my voice is weird again.
I'm also getting kinda sick.
I'm digressing from whatever point I thought I was making again.
I tend to do that I guess.
Thinking too much.
In my brain if I have enough time everything can be looked at.
Like highways?
I don't know..
Then again sometimes there's a lot of...traffic.
Lots'a angry ******** drivers.
Who desperately just need to get home.
But that can't.
They ******** can't!
And you know why!?
Because of all the other ******** a*****e drivers who think they are more ******** important than this a*****e and they ******** make him leave his ******** home to get on this ******** hypothetical piece of s**t highway that leads to ******** oblivion or hell or some angry ******** place that doesn't need to ******** be there.
And the ******** a*****e trying to get home doesn't say s**t about how ******** shitty he's being treated or about how this ******** highway shouldn't have this much ******** traffic because this particular highway wasn't meant for all of these other ********! Who think they have the ******** right to just drive along! Being ******** happy and complacent with this ******** traffic, thinking everything will go just ******** swimmingly! Well obviously it ******** isn't if there's ******** traffic but no one notices s**t, because they are all ******** fake and I made them up.
Of course that was a hypothetical situation.
I wouldn't really get that angry out of no where.
Of course that's assuming you thought I was getting angry.
Maybe my situation is a little more dire than I originally anticipated.
So let's talk about a dream I had the other night!
I was walking down the street minding my own business.
When out of nowhere I heard someone shrieking.
They were asking for help.
I was like, "******** that s**t, not my problem." and promptly continued walking.
The noises got louder and louder as I walked away.
It was around that point where I was like this s**t is so not happening.
I then realized I was dreaming.
That's right folks this ******** sociopath was having a lucid dream.
From here on out it gets very good.
Anyway so after I realized I was dreaming I stopped walking.
These chains that I didn't notice before broke off me.
I felt so light and free.
The shrieking was still going on.
Only now it sounded like more voices.
I was so ready for it, or so I thought.
I walked back to the house, which was a home I had never seen before.
I opened the door.
It was a modern living room there was some old women I've never seen before.
She asks, "What are you doing here?'
I listened for the shrieking.
It was getting louder.
The woman got off her rocker and started walking closer.
She was speaking but I couldn't hear her anymore.
I started hearing a loud high pitched noise.
The old lady stabbed me.
It hurt quite a bit actually.
I pulled the knife out of my stomach and I stabbed her in her ******** throat.
When she fell she was gurgling and the high pitched noise quieted a bit.
I touched my stomach where I was bleeding and it healed back up to normal.
She was still bleeding and started crying.
She told me to leave her boy alone.
The high pitched noise returned, and I don't know why but I lost it.
I just kept stabbing her.
The high pitched noise got even higher.
It began to hurt and I could feel my ears bleeding.
It felt like it was entering and melting my brain.
I cut the old woman from her neck down to her pelvis.
I opened her.
She was missing her heart.
I looked at my hands and the noise quieted back down.
I realized then that the shrieking had only gotten louder.
It was coming from the basement.
I could only think how cliche this had all become.
I wiped my hands clean on my sweater and took it off as I walked down.
The stairs were a spiral that seemed like it was going on forever.
After what felt like hours, and the shrieking finally stopped.
I finally made it to the basement.
What I saw will probably be etched into my brain.
******** PUPPIES! biggrin
I saw all of my friends strapped to crosses along the walls.
They were all opened up and strangled with their intestines.
There was a guy in the room wearing and old fashion executioners mask.
He just kind grumbled at me as he was rubbing the face of his latest victim.
The woman who was shrieking was none other than Alex of course.
I vomited on the spot.
I remembered how I didn't care.
He kissed her corpse.
I could only think how pathetic it was that I was jealous over a corpse.
My body began to feel heavy and I sat there and I watched for awhile.
The high pitched noise in my brain went into full effect.
Everything I saw became a dull red.
I thought if this is my dream I can control it.
I made my friend's corpses hop off their crosses and hold the man down.
I was laughing, but I couldn't hear anything over the noise.
It seemed like it was filling up the whole room.
I motioned for my dead friends to lift the man toward one of the crosses.
I nailed him to it.
I couldn't see his face behind the mask, and I couldn't hear besides the noise.
I like to think he screamed but, ehhh..
My friends corpses disappeared at that point.
I waved my hand and a bone saw appeared in it.
I began to saw through the mans leg.
The number twenty three started flowing into my brain?
The noise grew louder.
After getting one leg I decided to test dream powers and so I reattached it.
It worked.
I laughed but I could only hear the noise intensifying.
I cut open the man's stomach and wrapped his small intestine around his neck.
I pulled and I pulled until his head came flying off.
The noise began to grow quiet.
I used the saw to slowly start cutting him in half.
The blood was everywhere.
It all felt so real.
I felt the noise leaving my brain.
It no longer felt like a dream.
I just kept cutting until he was finally in half.
I stomped the man's skull repeatedly.
The sounds of the bones crunching was almost as deafening as the noise.
After all was said and down I sat down on the floor.
Looking at my work.
I felt pretty damn pleased with myself.
I realized then that my nose was bleeding.
It wasn't just that though it was my ears as well.
My eyes.
My mouth.
I started coughing up what felt like glass, and I began vomiting.
I was screaming.
The door to the room slammed shut.
The lights went out.
I laid there for what felt like forever.
I ended up waking up in the dark so that was pretty freaky.
But uhh yeaah...Dreams..