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That Heavy Heart
I don't even know how to start this. I am a torrent of emotions right now ranging to hurt, awe, sad, and happy. I'm a big ******** mess. I just watched this movie that my... my.... friend, yeah friend lets call him that, he probably doesn't like me anyways so lets call him friend sadface. Since he knows I write and s**t and yeah, he told me to go watch this movie.

This romantic a** movie, which is ******** relevant to my situation right now. Shieeeet, I don't wanna keep writing this entry. I have to continue my short story "Until Next Time" because well because...

Anyways the movie is called Ruby Sparks, It came out last year. For those of you who didn't watch, its about a guy, an author who writes his dream girl into existence. My heart just exploded as he explained the movie to me over skype, just then I could relate. I'm not sure if you noticed yet, Read my "Ruined Hometown" entry.

I confess I have my dream guy as well... I showcase it in my Until Next Time short story, but it ******** sucks cause he's right in front of me but he doesn't see it because he doesn't see me that way and... and...

He's a combination of my friend... and the past loves, coalesced into one entity that is the epitome of my ******** desires, my ******** desires.

And its called desire because I can never attain it, never ever... I'm jealous of the guy in Ruby Sparks. I'm so envious at the moment, that he reached his desires, and has calmed the hunger of desire.

Desire, my main enemy... I hate this. I'm ******** breaking down right now, as if my whole body just shattered and fractured and instead of blood there is light. That light inside me, revealing me naked, naked...

User Comments: [1]
Community Member

Fri Nov 01, 2013 @ 07:34am

huh i see now hmhmhm

User Comments: [1]
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