so its been a while since i last cried and i want to cry more. i ruined my own life. and it hurts. all this pain is finally boiling up and over and i am still holding it back. i am going to end up letting him go right through my fingers and i know once i do that hes gonna be gone for good. i probably wont ever hear or see him again. but idk if i am able to let him go. i have to be strong right. but i still think hes running away from me. but that is always wishful thinking. we all know what reality is and i am just not living in it. where would i be if i didnt tell him he was single. where would i be